tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64546343290095348532024-03-16T11:52:05.080-07:00Non-native BilingualismOne Family's Adventures
in Raising a Bilingual
ChildAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.comBlogger148125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-26584253139746109392015-09-14T23:12:00.000-07:002015-09-14T23:12:09.190-07:00The Power of the Novice (and learning along with them!)My last post took us into our new Chinese adventure, and bedtime tonight provides yet another story down this path. As I mentioned, Kaya just started learning Chinese at school (and will learn through 4th grade), with two 50 minute sessions per week. The focus is mostly on culture, with some focus on the sounds and basic words. Being the language teacher that I am, the format had me wondering how much she'd really get from 50 minutes back to back two days a week. With this, I sat down in front of my computer and put a bunch of Chinese books on hold at the library -- those with CDs of course, as I have absolutely <i>no</i> clue what I'm doing in the language. This cluelessness has actually felt like a huge asset, as Kaya knows with great certainty, that I, like she, am a true beginner, and I'm just realizing now, as I write this, that this novice position is allowing me to model for her. I think it's actually working...<br />
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Last week, she hated Chinese. Ok, maybe not <i>hate, </i>but the dislike has been strong and voiced. The first week, she came home expressing frustration that her Chinese teacher is really hard to understand. Once they started playing games in class, she seemed a bit happier about her experience, but there has still been a general aversion to the experience. Tonight, however, we started in on our 3rd chinese book, and I began to sense quite a different vibe.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigC06Yc-GcN3VafGm7_LUgYFgcMUXnttehjRwmzPJQvz51A9jJZTX6AToK5BYFqiZIWtM08L5xGeyBoQO10cSYdBaIAtfzBNYrx90shBUo3woh-oWLSv4ieayq2MtxCaXjxqlT4dGSTuuH/s1600/IMG_20150914_223607.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigC06Yc-GcN3VafGm7_LUgYFgcMUXnttehjRwmzPJQvz51A9jJZTX6AToK5BYFqiZIWtM08L5xGeyBoQO10cSYdBaIAtfzBNYrx90shBUo3woh-oWLSv4ieayq2MtxCaXjxqlT4dGSTuuH/s320/IMG_20150914_223607.jpg" width="320" /></a>When I brought this particular book up to her bed tonight, I didn't announce that it was a Chinese book. I think she knew, but I can't be sure. It's one of those that has the English version starting at one end of the book, and the Chinese at the other end. So, in the middle, they meet, with the rest of the pages upside down. We read the English side first, with no real intention on my part to listen to the Chinese on CD. It was late and she needs the sleep. But when we got to the end, and she'd clearly enjoyed the story and seemed eager for more, I asked her if she wanted to listen to the CD. "Willst du," [<i>Do you?</i>] she asked me, with curiosity. As much as I was aware that this was a true opportunity to model excitement for the language, it was my heart that really answered the question. "Ja!" [<i>Yes!</i>] I told her, enthusiastically. She wasn't yet convinced. She thinks Chinese sounds like baby language, and seems quite annoyed by this. Maybe it was my super stellar Chinese impression...I have always gotten a kick out of pretending that I'm fluent (and I promise you, it's likely an insult to those who do, unintentionally, of course!) --but something kicked in for her, and she was suddenly warming up to the idea of diving into some Chinese tonight.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwCHVr0283WfH9zJi6m8ggjFWnxSH64EfvYMRGnJblii0VbFXWP-lADtSlXSuQumdEIWC8Aku9f8JJU6WLqkmAR-_PEZa8Lc96dkewgLoSvJwznV50bOhDcMoetf_ZVRoIcaesSA-xemsF/s1600/IMG_20150914_223617.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwCHVr0283WfH9zJi6m8ggjFWnxSH64EfvYMRGnJblii0VbFXWP-lADtSlXSuQumdEIWC8Aku9f8JJU6WLqkmAR-_PEZa8Lc96dkewgLoSvJwznV50bOhDcMoetf_ZVRoIcaesSA-xemsF/s320/IMG_20150914_223617.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
While we were listening, I noticed her "following" the characters along with the Chinese sounds (probably in the wrong direction, I realize, since I have no idea what I'm doing and I modeled left to right!). I also noticed her testing out some of the sounds a few times, as I had done a couple times after I'd begun to recognize individual sounds...particularly those that get repeated a lot. By the end, she was clearly into it, even if she wouldn't admit it. By the end, she was asking me if I would be learning together with her, so that "eines Tages wir koennten zusammen auf Chinesisch sprechen!" [one day we'd be able to speak together in Chinese!].<br />
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How cool would that be?!<br />
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I'm feeling motivated. I've been down this road before, both with Chinese and Japanese...giving up because I knew I'd never be moving there. But now, I have a different motivation to learn: together with our daughter. And that feels incredibly exciting, on so many levels...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTfyg2N1KAQdTyLhA2dRmFbwHSN7sxx5m39NTkmaJICAZBiJU7qPxKhGoFo1mHqgRP71hbz6KdehltnPtXaG_Zo_TrGbLGIkTrU7u9TZd8Dwqd-YUhcUR19jbNsB0RyANllNOCBWOnOYFJ/s1600/IMG_20150914_223626.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTfyg2N1KAQdTyLhA2dRmFbwHSN7sxx5m39NTkmaJICAZBiJU7qPxKhGoFo1mHqgRP71hbz6KdehltnPtXaG_Zo_TrGbLGIkTrU7u9TZd8Dwqd-YUhcUR19jbNsB0RyANllNOCBWOnOYFJ/s200/IMG_20150914_223626.jpg" width="200" /></a><i>If you have any resources to recommend for us on our Chinese learning adventure, please share them below. We're eager for great titles, games, songs, and other (optimally screen-free) resources that can help us connect to the language and each other!</i><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-11730609571122950832015-09-02T23:10:00.004-07:002015-09-02T23:10:39.208-07:00Shoe, Schuh, or Shu? (OR...'On the road to Trilingual')Lately - as in, the past 6 months and then some - it's been a lot easier for me to think about writing than it has been for me to sit down and do it. Not so much because I don't want to --because I still love the process so dearly-- but because I've finally slowed down enough in life such that it doesn't feel like I'm always trying to pack it all in. My mom would be so proud...I can't tell you how many times, how many conversations she tried to have with me around this topic. "Tams, you always try to do too much," she'd tell me, nearing a panic attack just from watching my spastic tendencies. But at the time, it's what energized me...or so I thought. Now, ironically, I get more life energy from slowing down. That's all to say that I've been more present and parenting more, which has left me much less time to write, particularly after a summer with lots of Kaya-time.<div>
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But alas...I wanted to sit down tonight and write because I think about Kaya growing up, just having started 1st grade at our dream K-8 Waldorf-inspired charter, and realize that what seems normal and everyday now won't always seem that way. And so I want to capture a few moments while they're fresh in the name of reminiscing later. This being a language and parenting blog, for the most part, I'll focus on the story today from Chinese class. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj5BPln7Ok1GfE1JmKK7CiSi7dvjK8HH-Wu3WcThSyjnwa_-9iJhMFHlGHJH3nU0_ShyfuNpO0mmT2bC4Qcd7Kt4Q5iWLePr_HvyjbWMESvTWXtH7XPsRB4Gegvnv_T4B6_F65I2WHmgWg/s1600/IMG_20150827_101419.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj5BPln7Ok1GfE1JmKK7CiSi7dvjK8HH-Wu3WcThSyjnwa_-9iJhMFHlGHJH3nU0_ShyfuNpO0mmT2bC4Qcd7Kt4Q5iWLePr_HvyjbWMESvTWXtH7XPsRB4Gegvnv_T4B6_F65I2WHmgWg/s320/IMG_20150827_101419.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Day of School: Rose Ceremony with her<br />8th Grade Mentor behind her</td></tr>
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Last year, I was torn. Start her at a Spanish Immersion kindergarten, or keep her at the outdoor immersion where she'd been for two years. As it turned out, we did neither, but had her instead at a small in-home kindergarten that our friend started down the street. But now that she's attending her new school, she's started learning Chinese twice a week at school. I may be a lot more excited than she, as she states that she doesn't like it, and that her Chinese teacher is hard to understand...but I'm impressed not only that she's learning already, but that she's coming home to tell me about it. Granted, it's only one word that she shared, but in our friends' car today on the way home from school, she tells me, "Mama, Shu heisst Buch." [<i>Shu means book</i>.] At first, I didn't get it - as simple a statement as it was. Being completely accustomed to her speaking 95% German with me still, I didn't process that 'shu' was a Chinese word. And then, with German being my 3rd language, it took my mind an extra few seconds to process it all, admittedly. 'Shoe' could be in English, or 'Schuh' could be in German, or clearly, 'shu' could be Chinese, too. For her, however, with 2 native languages, adding a 3rd is a completely different experience for her brain. It fascinates me that she can learn Chinese in school in English and then share with me in German what she learned it means in English (or maybe they didn't learn it through words at all, more likely, but with the item itself?). Granted, it's not so much the fact that she <i>can </i>do it, because I recognize that it's not rocket science...but the fact that she has the opportunity to do that, <i>and</i> that she <i>is</i> doing it (vs. keeping the thoughts to herself) is <i>ultra </i>exciting to me! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYolRJfjtJ-QRxEb9zA1MZKfeR4BgYNO5-qu6ui4OkQwQeG2AfynG3LH5Qhn5j321buWSFcmznG8MdnXHuoQVNr6FKqL11waZR2C_YdSvUuQKk7x_9dLEvAvD_KJR9IFMTq-qhl4Za5kkO/s1600/Chinese-Character-Book-Shu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYolRJfjtJ-QRxEb9zA1MZKfeR4BgYNO5-qu6ui4OkQwQeG2AfynG3LH5Qhn5j321buWSFcmznG8MdnXHuoQVNr6FKqL11waZR2C_YdSvUuQKk7x_9dLEvAvD_KJR9IFMTq-qhl4Za5kkO/s200/Chinese-Character-Book-Shu.jpg" width="200" /></a>In college, I took a Spanish-German translation course, and I remember how much effort it was for my brain to go directly from language 2 to 3, and back. In my early days of classwork, I had to use English as the middle language, serving as a bridge. But Kaya, with similar comfort levels in both English and German...does she need a bridge language? I would assume not. Maybe it's for this reason, among others, that it's easier to learn additional languages once you've already learned two.</div>
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Anyway, I'm still pretty fascinated to think about this, and while she may not be excited about the prospect of learning a 3rd language, I'm excited enough for both of us. I'm wishing she had it more than 2 days a week, back to back, but guess who's gonna go check out some Chinese books and resources at the library...</div>
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<i>(Quick language update: As I mentioned above, Kaya still speaks to me primarily in German, throwing in plenty of English words than she doesn't know the German for...or doesn't want to give her brain time to grab over the English version. When she does this, if I know the word, I'll either repeat it back in German or will respond using the German word, which she then quickly assimilates into her end of the conversation. I have noticed that I've been using quite a bit more English with her -- definitely 1-3 sentences when i'm upset, before reverting back to German, and I'm almost always add English when friends are around so they can be more involved in our conversation. Sometimes, I say the German first, other times, the English. And every once in a while, I'll just say the English. She still feels a year or so younger to me when she speaks German...a phenomenon I've noticed for the past many years with her German. She speaks more slowly in German and it takes her longer to access some words...though if she's feeling patient, she will. She still seems very committed and interested in speaking German with me...it's clearly our language together, and while we haven't discussed it in a while, it's clear to me that there's security and connection in that for her.)</i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-5482387590373887822015-02-02T23:14:00.000-08:002015-02-02T23:14:09.563-08:00Simplicity & Accountability by my 6 Yr OldThere are really so many other things I need to be doing...like catching up with this amazing online course that I'm taking, or finishing my new website. BUT...blogging feels a bit like an old security blanket, and when the post starts writing itself in my head, I know it's time to make the time to sit down, relax, and peck out a story or two.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvNpiRe4wza1kbQfqpmZzYs5ZHCUSbnBqrYr59plGg-jIWbcsNPpt2fYGxtSR6eabQ1hIpZs5xqMCFcJB1iOFIkjVRNyp2tU7HBLdu9okIuET6KuGdICggJYOouSBXPX7mA8yHPtwGcb3w/s1600/IMG_20150119_140203.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvNpiRe4wza1kbQfqpmZzYs5ZHCUSbnBqrYr59plGg-jIWbcsNPpt2fYGxtSR6eabQ1hIpZs5xqMCFcJB1iOFIkjVRNyp2tU7HBLdu9okIuET6KuGdICggJYOouSBXPX7mA8yHPtwGcb3w/s1600/IMG_20150119_140203.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>This afternoon, on our way home from gymnastics, Kaya and I were discussing whether we'd go to the grocery store. Neither of us is so fond of the activity, so there is generally plenty of reason, and resistance from us both, to avoid it. But, as I shared with her, my contact lenses can only water themselves for so long, and our cow is about to run dry...so it seemed there was no avoiding a trip this time.<br />
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So, after her initial squawking about not wanting to go, she adamantly proclaims, "Dann ich werde ein Treat bekommen!" [<i>Then, I'm going to get a treat!</i>] (and for those non-German speakers out there, I might add that 'treat' is <i>not </i>a German word, but serves to represent the influx of mixing that we're seeing lately). The key terms here are "adamantly proclaims". This is no excited tone of eagerness at the idea that the treat might actually materialize in her hands at the store. To the contrary, she was quite clear what would be happening and who would be making it happen.<br />
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Once I joined in the assertion game that she was playing, letting her know which reality she would actually experience under the current circumstances of tone and expectation, we were able to move on to the point that I'm actually trying to get to in this story. She gets the point, changes her tone, and as if by magic, I begin to create my own storyville dreamland of our grocery adventure. I see the pint of chocolate ice cream in my hand, feeling the chill on my skin, wondering which flavor I would choose. Milk, saline solution, and....ice cream. Yes, indeed - if she's going to get a treat, then guess who else is, too. "Ich will auch ein Treat," [<i>I want a treat,too</i>] I tell her, choosing somewhat hesitantly to let her in on my dreamland a bit. It felt a bit cathartic, I must say: I've been avoiding processed sugar for nearly 2 months now, doing pretty 'well' despite the urges at times, and it felt good to just be honest about what I really wanted...and give a little window into what I was thinking. I wasn't sure how she'd respond, despite her awareness of my no-sugar adventure. I guess I figured she'd be so involved in her own treatville dreamland that she'd be completely oblivious to mine.<br />
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But alas, I was wrong. Instead of letting me continue to bask in the details of what flavor chocolate I'd choose and exactly how I'd go about breaking this personal agreement I'd made with myself (and my husband), she stops me in my tracks. "Aber du wirst kein Treat bekommen, weil du kein Zucker isst..." [<i>But you won't buy a treat because you're not eating sugar.</i>]<br />
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I feel like I'd just been caught by my 6 year old with my hand in the cookie jar (after having just called her into the kitchen). The silence rang loudly in my ears after she spoke, until doubt kicked in to clarify. "Ein Treat oder kein Treat," ['<i>A' treat or 'no' treat?</i>] I ask her, checking to be sure that I'd really been caught. There was no mistaking it, however. She called me out. My mind begins to scan for possibilities. What might I say that could counter the point she'd just made?<br />
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"Yeah, I know but today I feel extra sad so I'm going to eat."<br />
"That's true, but it's OK to break self-agreements when things don't go well."<br />
"I know honey, but I don't feel like it anymore."<br />
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I couldn't do it. There was nothing I could say or do that felt solid enough for me to stand behind...except for sticking to what I'd agreed to and letting her point ring true: I'm not eating sugar, so I'm not going to get a treat.<br />
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Sure there was a part of me, that small voice, that wanted to tell her Big voice, that I would do whatever the hell I wanted. That I can have a bad day and eat chocolate when I want. That no child of mine is going to tell me what to do. But my Big voice knows better. She knows when to heed advice from those who thrive on structure. And she knows that there's nobody that I'm really responsible to except myself...regardless of who says what in which car.<br />
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So, to the future Kaya who will read this one day, thank you.<br />
To the Kaya who asks me before falling asleep, "Fuhlst du dich besser, Mama?" [<i>Do you feel better, Mama?</i>]<br />
Thank you for being my rock, in more ways than one, for guiding and supporting me --once again-- to be the person that I strive to be in our world.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-16533672668028674972015-01-22T23:30:00.000-08:002015-01-23T12:04:59.991-08:00Little Lessons in Simplicity and ClimateThis afternoon, as we were searching for our favorite photos of her 'through the ages', Kaya asked me why we chose her name. I started with the simple answer, the one she happened to know already: "Wir wollten einen K Namen finden, nach Nana." [<i>We wanted a K name as a way to honor Nana.</i>] The rest of the answer, I'm a little embarrassed to admit, necessitated a little internet consult. Granted, the fact that my friend's dog was named Caillou, and Geoff had a friend whose dog was named Kaya, is pretty simple. But...we didn't name our daughter after their dogs--as much as we liked the names. It was what we discovered through some <i>very brief </i>research that really sealed the deal.<br />
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So, as I dipped into the internet in hopes of a quick answer, I found this excellent--but complicated--article that had me feeling quite connected to the power of the universe...as hoaky as that may sound. Yes, I know that we named her Kaya, and for some of you, this might not sound surprising in the slightest...but it still has me feeling in awe of what is really possible in this life.<br />
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As <a href="http://www.turtlehill.org/khen/kaya.html" target="_blank">this article</a> explains, there are three Kayas, and "these three Kayas are actually aspects of enlightened being. They are the Buddha reflected in three different ways in order to help sentient beings." And, for those of you with little to no experience with Buddhism, Buddha means 'awakened or fully realized one' in Sanskrit.<br />
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While this may not sound like much to the average reader just bumping into this post willy-nilly, for those of you who recall what I just shared yesterday in my post about my <a href="http://nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-embodied-buddha-mama.html" target="_blank">Embodied Buddha-Mama</a>, I'm thinking you may see what I'm getting at. But just in case, let me spell it out a little further.<br />
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Today served as another representation of the simplicity that Kaya offers for my life. Despite our arsenal to fight the bugs ruminating in the surrounding air (Vitamin D, Airborne, Elderberry Syrup, Gypsy Cold Care tea, water, rest...), Kaya caught a little something and had to miss out on school and a family birthday party. She wasn't all that sick, though (arsenal!?), and was in pretty high spirits for most of the day. I told her that even though she had to miss school and a party tonight, we could still have a really fun day, and do something to celebrate. Last week, we'd talked about the idea of going to a bead store on her birthday, and I thought for sure she'd be all over it. When I brought it up, she liked the idea, but made sure to let me know that she wanted to relax first, spend time snuggling on the couch with me, and then possibly head out in the afternoon. Surely it made a difference that Auntie Sara's gifts arrived in the mail, but once afternoon rolled around, Kaya was quite eager to keep it simple and stay home. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA5yvE9O1hMWzkAXGi_FCmpYN0MJfbbPihKcgTp4qytRaY2sWXCrsscfqiho_AnyrRNK7A67OUjziTuxeKUOzIM4mqM_9EGeb4pTEfJGWD482O8CcuolAXWGQ5TCddbS8gVRrd6AmQfdIA/s1600/IMG_20150122_185616.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA5yvE9O1hMWzkAXGi_FCmpYN0MJfbbPihKcgTp4qytRaY2sWXCrsscfqiho_AnyrRNK7A67OUjziTuxeKUOzIM4mqM_9EGeb4pTEfJGWD482O8CcuolAXWGQ5TCddbS8gVRrd6AmQfdIA/s1600/IMG_20150122_185616.jpg" height="320" title="" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Clearly, she enjoyed the ice cream...</td></tr>
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Similarly, I gave her the option to do whatever she wanted for dinner. Eat out at her favorite restaurant, head for ice cream afterwards, or stay home and choose our meal. Mac n' cheese and ice cream at home was the clear choice. "Bist du sicher, das du nicht zum Eisgeschaeft gehen willst?" [<i>Are you sure you don't want to go get ice cream?</i>] I asked her, surprised, once again, at the simplicity and clarity of her choice. "Ja, Mama, Ich bin sicher. Ich will dass Dada zum Geschaeft geht und Eis nach Hause bringt."[<i>I'm sure, Mama. I want Dada to go to the store and bring ice cream home.</i>]<br />
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This all has me wondering...Is Kaya as she is because we named her as such...or was I informed by something bigger in choosing her name?<br />
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The first Kaya, or the Dharmakaya according to that <a href="http://www.turtlehill.org/khen/kaya.html" target="_blank">same article</a> quoted above, is "the embodiment of wisdom". It's the wisdom to know the value in staying home to rest even when it would be way more fun to go the bead shop, or have a sleep over on your birthday. It's the wisdom to perceive when is too much. In greater detail, as I understand it, the Dharmakaya is the wisdom to be aware of subjective and objective phenomenon and recognize that each is dependent upon the other, as we all are upon each other. Perhaps I'm seeing this aspect in our lil' Kaya in our much more snuggly she's become with me over the years. I remember when she was quite content to have her own space, in her own bed, at at a minimum, at an arm's length from me in our bed. Even these days, she'll often ask me to give her some space when she needs it.<br />
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<a href="http://huntingtonarchive.osu.edu/resources/images/buddhistIconography/trikaya/05.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://huntingtonarchive.osu.edu/resources/images/buddhistIconography/trikaya/05.png" height="246" width="320" /></a>The second Kaya is referred to as the Sambhogakaya, and in its simplest explanation, "this spontaneous radiance of unceasing clarity is the meaning of the Sanskrit term...". Those of you who know Kaya can likely relate to the significance of this. Our daughter is the furthest thing from wishy-washy. She's clear. She knows what she wants. The red sweatshirt. The salmon burger. Three more songs. Mac n' cheese and store-bought ice cream." 'Sam' means perfect, 'bhoga' means enjoyment and kaya is roughly translated as body. Thus 'the body of perfect enjoyment' is the radiant wisdom aspect of our original nature." No doubt on my part that our Kaya is a little embodiment of perfect enjoyment.<br />
<br />
The third Kaya, or the Nirmanakaya, and refers to something that is "manifest in form", but is a form that is for everyone. There are other forms that just appear to highly enlightened beings. I'm grateful that our Kaya is available for all of us, especially for me, to remind me how I want to live and what will make the biggest difference for her life. As it's described further, this aspect or kaya of Buddha is also called the 'artisan emanation'. "These appear as objects of art and the artists who make them for the benefit of all sentient beings..[...]...Beautiful inspired works of art which bring clarity, peace, joy and something special which seems to touch the heart center, are all known as artisan emanations."<br />
<br />
<br />
For the record, this is the first time that I've ever learned any of this in such depth. When we chose her name, I knew that it had something to do with the three bodies of wisdom in Buddhism. I'm not Buddhist, but certainly resonate strongly with its principles. And I liked the sound of the name. I'd always had K-names for my dogs (Kensa, Kahlua, and Kess!), and while I didn't want to name my daughter Karen, I really wanted the mom-connection in there somehow.<br />
<br />
But here's the part of the story that really gets me.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://image.slidesharecdn.com/consequencesofglobalwarmingandclimatechange-130221105843-phpapp01/95/consequences-of-global-warming-and-climate-change-13-638.jpg?cb=1361971126" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://image.slidesharecdn.com/consequencesofglobalwarmingandclimatechange-130221105843-phpapp01/95/consequences-of-global-warming-and-climate-change-13-638.jpg?cb=1361971126" height="240" width="320" /></a>A few years after Kaya was born, at my mom's memorial I believe, someone asked me what Kaya's name meant. Still fuzzy on the definition (and also aware that there are many of them), I decided to go searching again. As an avid climate activist, someone whose primary motivation in life is to secure the well-being and health of all life on this planet, I was shocked to discover this definition:<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The <b>Kaya identity</b> is an equation relation factors that determine the level of human impact on climate, in the form of emissions of the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide. </span><br />
<br />
What is the connection between our children and the lives we seek to lead?<br />
<br />
I know that I continue to learn everyday from our little Kaya, and am continually impressed with not only what she has to offer, but the outer reaches of what is possible when we stay open and aware and committed to our deepest purpose.<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #252525; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-25167007116182528402015-01-22T00:13:00.000-08:002015-01-22T00:13:52.671-08:00My Embodied Buddha-MamaTomorrow, my baby turns 6.<br />
Jan. 22, 2015<br />
<br />
When I share that with some people in my life, they can't believe it's happened so quickly. For me, however, I couldn't have asked time to move in more perfect rhythm.<br />
<br />
I feel fortunate that I've been able to stay home with her all these years, working part time as teacher, tutor, and now "<a href="https://twitter.com/ClimateCoach" target="_blank">climate coach</a>", part-time as mama (or is mama a full time gig?!). I never saw myself doing the stay-at-home mama thing--<i>which, I realize as I write it, is really quite a silly term. I never 'stayed at home'. We went out. We go out. But I digress</i>... Being able to be such a huge part of Kaya's childhood has and continues to bring me great joy--and from what I'm realizing, makes time feel a hell of a lot slower...in a good way.<br />
<br />
And were she elsewhere, who knows what would have happened with her German...<br />
Which brings me back to the general subject of this here blog on bilingualism.<br />
<br />
Damn, it feels great to be 'back'. I've missed writing, I've missed being here, on my own blog. I see that more than 1000 people visit here every month now, and where am I?! Dying to be back, I can say that. While I make no promises, the desire lives strong...I want this for Kaya as she grows older. I keep meaning to publish all of these posts into a book for her--there are those amazing companies that exist that do that. And it saddens me to think of all of the amazing details that haven't been captured for her future.<br />
<br />
I'll do my best, however, to fill in some holes in my upcoming posts so I can get back to writing from the present.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ZB5oXtoq_c1TCLhdBf1o5HQrIn90FBc_rH-YBzfubBJ3c0h4ZtKMaVNZSoxBtwleGKYAs4ok4HQoaR2WAtQ_mKttkoS8disIZUoDPmTCGeXsIoBEuLV0j63Figj344WK-k4pYJmGdNZB/s1600/IMG_1007_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-ZB5oXtoq_c1TCLhdBf1o5HQrIn90FBc_rH-YBzfubBJ3c0h4ZtKMaVNZSoxBtwleGKYAs4ok4HQoaR2WAtQ_mKttkoS8disIZUoDPmTCGeXsIoBEuLV0j63Figj344WK-k4pYJmGdNZB/s1600/IMG_1007_cropped.jpg" height="320" width="221" /></a>Tonight, as I was at a Social Action Gathering for my <a href="http://citizensclimatelobby.org/" target="_blank">Citizens' Climate Lobby</a> chapter, one of my friends asked me how our little button was doing. "I couldn't be more in love," I told her, feeling the melting in my heart. "She's my little buddha-mama," I continued. "It's like she's my mom and Buddha embodied in one, guiding me to live life as it's meant to be lived..."<br />
<br />
And with that, I shared the story about last week, when Kaya told me (still speaking with me in German these days) that she really wanted to have a sleepover with her friends, Eli and Jacob. When I mentioned this to their mom, she was really into it, and we bounced some ideas around. That night, at dinner, I proposed the idea to Kaya that the boys come over for a sleepover after her birthday party at the gymnastics gym. They could come to our family potluck dinner and then just stay. I was shocked--and incredibly impressed--when she responded with a, "Mama, ich glaube das koennte zu viel sein..." [<i>Mama, I think that could be too much.</i>]<br />
<br />
<i>Did you hear that, Mom? Where you left off, Kaya is picking up for you, guiding me to slow down and pack in less...</i><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhidhdu8Vx2G7mNDjMQsw8YeOo5VCGRT27io8ouZWMIucvqjGP4xM-htAJZw7DLGaeKDCbBpTh2VIsUO20e1Gj-wn9sfeaKvnkK7_3WszzgXqKfbBMF-fPY3KsTU6RcX2LxkjZ-FBeCiQjW/s1600/16506_10205857876314859_1270984479545258755_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhidhdu8Vx2G7mNDjMQsw8YeOo5VCGRT27io8ouZWMIucvqjGP4xM-htAJZw7DLGaeKDCbBpTh2VIsUO20e1Gj-wn9sfeaKvnkK7_3WszzgXqKfbBMF-fPY3KsTU6RcX2LxkjZ-FBeCiQjW/s1600/16506_10205857876314859_1270984479545258755_n.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a>A few days later, proving that I clearly hadn't yet learned my lesson, Kaya asks me to fill her in on our plan for the day. (This is normal. Kaya loves a plan. She finds great security in the structure and expectation of knowing what's coming down the shoot.) So, I proceed to tell her:<br />
Play date with Scout. Brunch with Michael. Playdate with Eli and Jacob. Buy ballet shoes. Head home.<br />
"Mama, das ist zu viel. Ich glaube, wir sollten nicht so viel machen." [<i>Mama, that's too much. I don't think we should do so much.</i>] she proceeds to tell me, both hesitantly and confidently. Of course it is, I realize in retrospect. But the last thing I expected was to hear it from her. What surprised me even more was what followed. When I proposed that we shorten her play date with her best friend, Scout, and pick up her ballet slipper before brunch instead of after, she went for it. She <i>lives</i> for play dates with Scout. Yet, clearly, stronger for her is her need for balance and calm, her strong sense for what is too much.<br />
<br />
<i>Are you loving this, Mom?!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
So, with this in mind, I'll keep this post brief and let these sweet stories be my re-entry into my blogging universe. I <i>do</i> promise another post very shortly. I'm eager to set the scene, to lay the stage for where we're at with our German and the latest language development on the horizon...and perhaps even create some bridges for those of you who do share my deep concern for the futures we are creating for our littles.<br />
<br />
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So good to be back. Please 'stop in' and say hi, if you would. And if you're willing, follow me here (or on <a href="https://twitter.com/ClimateCoach" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, if you have a concern about Climate Change!). I think of SO many of you when I write, those of you who have written me on email, and in comments, and have played SUCH a huge role in my journey as non-native bilingual mama, and I feel very grateful for you in this community. While we span the globe, we remain connected.<br />
<br />
Despite my most recent silence, I feel that...and I hope you do, too!<br />
<br />
In loving community,<br />
Tamara<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-49372218682590072412014-05-31T22:37:00.000-07:002014-05-31T22:37:42.648-07:00Adding a Third Language at 5?As I walked in the door this evening, I saw it on the floor. There was no mistaking it, with the return address from PORTLAND PUBLIC SCHOOLS, Enrollment and Transfer Center. We'd been waiting for weeks to hear if we'd make the lottery for the Dual Spanish Immersion Program at our neighborhood school, and alas, we found out:<br />
<br />
We made the cut (!!!??!?!?!?!$&!!@%$^$%^!).<br />
<br />
For me, just hours from the news, my heart swims with emotions--excitement, fear, relief, curiosity, eagerness--and my mind swirls with thoughts. <i>Can we trust an immersion program in it's first year at a school? </i><i>What will adding a third language do to her non-community language (German)? </i><i>What happens if we end up getting into our 'dream school' part way through the year--and then we don't like it?</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
When Geoff and I were on the fence about whether we wanted any more children, we agreed that we didn't want to make the decision based on fear (<i>I'm afraid she'll feel alone in the world if she doesn't have any siblings...). </i>Instead, we wanted to make a decision based on inspiration, based on the song of our heart beneath the fear. Naturally, we want to do the same with this decision, too--a good reminder for me right now, as my mind spins and my stomach tries to talk me into a chocolate smoothie. There's nothing like chocolate ice cream to make everything feel easier in the moment.<br />
<br />
So, then, what would my heart say if it could talk?<br />
What would I hear if I listened?<br />
<br />
I would love for Kaya to learn Spanish. As I told her tonight, it was the first language that I learned in school, the one I learned before German. The idea of my daughter knowing the same languages that I do leaves me with a cozy feeling.<br />
<br />
And my brain is saying the following, too. Naturally, Spanish is a much more <i>useful</i> language to know than German, so there's that. But even if she's only in this Dual Immersion program for a year or less, a program which is conducted 90% in Spanish and 10% in English, I can imagine that the learning opportunity would only be beneficial. Right?<br />
<br />
A month ago, we thought we had this school thing all figured out. After having discovered that we were 63rd on the wait list at the school that had me in tears of joy on curriculum night, we decided that we'd enroll Kaya for next year at her current school--a continuing Kindergarten class at her outdoor immersion forest farm preschool (Waldorf inspired). I met with her teacher, talked to the director, and felt great about the decision. And then, Kaya told me one night that she didn't want to go to school there next year. She was ready to be inside more, done with being so muddy and wet, and eager to learn to write--a much cuter, longer tale than I'm sharing now, but curt to stick to the point. She was also tired of being in the car so much, about 25 minutes each direction. And so, wanting to honor our daughter's wishes, we gave it some good thought, and decided to consider other options, optimally closer to home. <br />
<br />
And so here we sit...with three enticing neighborhood options in our laps:<br />
1. Traditional kindergarten option at our local public school, which is rumored to be a good program now (after years of being one of the worst in the city) [$ free]<br />
2. Dual Spanish immersion in that same school: 1 classroom, 1st year, non-existent reputation at this school but solid at others [$ free]<br />
3. Local Waldorf kindergarten with about 6 children, with my friend, in her home [$ the same amount we'd put away for her college if we chose a free option]<br />
<br />
Something tells me that you understand my quandary.<br />
I bet you even understand why I'm craving chocolate...<br />
<br />
Clearly, I don't have an answer. But what I do know is that I'd love your input. While I've finally learned that I need to get quiet and seek within for my answer, I also feel strongly that data would feel good right now. Are there legitimate fears I can put to rest? Are there valid considerations to weigh on?<br />
<br />
As always, I love being on this journey with you--while I haven't had much time to branch out into the blogging world lately, I love that you come here, as it really makes a difference to feel so in community. This video of my new-found source of inspiration makes me think of us--singing our song together, from all over the world, each in our own beautiful place--and simultaneously reminds me to search within, and listen.<br />
<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-62125969864855039062014-05-29T00:43:00.004-07:002014-05-29T00:43:55.594-07:00When Eating, Wash a What?Last year, I went to this really amazing retreat led by Chozen Bays, a Buddhist mindfulness teacher who is also an M.D. It had such an impact on my life at the time, changing not only the way that I ate, but more importantly, my entire relationship with food. While I've slipped back into some of my tendencies to wolf down my dinner and do all sorts of things while eating (including thinking...), the principles still permeate our lives, and very clearly trickle down into Kaya's world as well.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIFZzkqxY8Sc3q4caDfxeL6DNUuMZWFJAcGDSvT1TeKe0_tUcRvOKzlIc4jBBFnuu_Z1wJ785WBkgBZaCP3c-8LfwpquOki2Sn7URPhncHsN7NgOJcIhmsboyTm65bTkkgYq8uN9EcGmF7/s1600/IMG_20140529_000207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIFZzkqxY8Sc3q4caDfxeL6DNUuMZWFJAcGDSvT1TeKe0_tUcRvOKzlIc4jBBFnuu_Z1wJ785WBkgBZaCP3c-8LfwpquOki2Sn7URPhncHsN7NgOJcIhmsboyTm65bTkkgYq8uN9EcGmF7/s1600/IMG_20140529_000207.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a>Most recently, she and I were sitting at the table, eating breakfast before school. In the middle of our table, in and around the rocks surrounding a candle, live our Mindful Eating Reminder & Encouragement Cards--a small stack of cards on a ring that Chozen made to support us in our daily lives after the retreat. From this mini deck, Kaya, Geoff and I will often choose a card that serves as a reminder or inspiration for how to eat more mindfully. It's quite a fun game, actually, as we always choose them randomly, and there's never an obligation to participate. So, on this particular morning, I picked up the deck and randomly flipped it open to a card. We both laughed, as it landed on the same card that had come up for me multiple times in the last 4 days:<br />
<br />
<i>When Eating, Just Eat.</i><br />
<br />
Clearly, a sign from the universe that I need to be a hell of a lot more present when I'm eating.<br />
<br />
So, there I am, determined this time to hone in and be present. I look at the rocks, chewing my cheerios, swallowing my milk, noticing the multitude of textures and flavors in my mouth. And then, Kaya makes a noise that I can't even begin to explain with text. She was wearing her felted owl around her neck (which her teacher at school gifted her for her birthday), and apparently, she'd dripped some milk on his head. Being my mother's daughter, hearing her concerns about souring milk echoing in my head, I gently reach over, grab her owl from his nest, and assure her that all will be well. Nothing a little water can't cure. As I return from the sink, and sit back into my seat, Kaya says something that left me laughing incessantly:<br />
<br />
Mama, du hast nicht gehort zu der Karte. Du hast "When eating, just wash a owl!" [<i>Mama, you didn't listen to the card. You did "When eating, just wash a owl!"</i>]<br />
<br />
I couldn't believe how tuned in she was, to the card, to me, to the whole concept--and how she brought it all together into this cute little mixed-language statement. And perhaps, the part that had me laughing the hardest was <i>how </i>it sounded when she said 'a owl'. As you may recall, I come from quite the grammar-nazi family--the language nuances were drilled deep, including the types of indefinite pronouns that need to be used before nouns starting with vowels ('an' vs.'a'). So, while it's hard to explain why I found that so funny, and that I certainly wasn't laughing <i>at </i>my daughter for using the 'wrong' article, it added to the hilarity of the whole situation. I laughed so hard, and for so long, that Kaya kept looking at me sideways, saying nothing but "Mom!", pleading me to stop and wondering why I found it so funny.<br />
<br />
One day, maybe I'll share more about the 7 types of hungers about which Chozen teaches (Eye Hunger, Mouth Hunger, Nose Hunger, Stomach Hunger, Heart Hunger, Body Hunger, Mind Hunger), as they are pretty fascinating and have definitely made a huge difference in our family. In fact, soon after I came home from the weekend retreat last year, and had taught Geoff and Kaya about the different types, Kaya made a comment one day at the table in which she told me, quite matter of fact, "Mama, ich habe viel Augenhunger in Moment!" [<i>Mama, I have a lot of eye hunger right now!</i>] This is after days on end of whining to Geoff and I about her desire to eat: "Ich wiw Essen, aber ich hab' kein Hunger!" [<i>I want to eat, but I'm not hungry!</i>]. She would get very angry, screaming and sometimes crying because we'd tell her that we like her to eat when she's hungry because it's healthier, as opposed to just eating for other reasons (it looks good, smells good, seems good, feels good, etc).<br />
<br />
There's another retreat coming up in early June, and while I would <i>so</i> love to go to another one and deepen my practice, I couldn't be happier that Geoff has chosen to go instead. I'm quite curious and excited to feel the ripple effects from a different perspective...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-33958892099399379292014-05-13T23:40:00.001-07:002014-05-13T23:40:12.685-07:00German is Here to Stay<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">If this weren't such a passion of mine, and perhaps more
importantly, if I hadn't finally been able to loosen up a good bit around this
whole topic, I would feel quite embarrassed at my pomp and circumstance from my<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2014/05/changing-structure-after-5-years.html" target="_blank">post the other day</a>, only to be followed by the
experiences of the supposed, Day 1. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">So, there I was, lying in my bed that next morning, hearing the
pitter-patter of Kaya's feet at she came into my room to wake me. "Wann
stehen wir auf...?" [<i>When are we getting up?</i>] she whispered,
more quietly than she usually makes herself known in the mornings. Was that
German, I wondered, half-asleep, slowly remembering her excitement of the plan
the night before. What do I do? Respond in German, as usual, or stick to our
'plan' and overcome the awkwardness of speaking my native language with my
daughter?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I chose the latter, with a half-smile on my face, eagerly
wondering how she'd respond. She, too, got a half-smile on hers. "Do you
want me to speak English with you?" I asked her. She nodded, silently. So,
I kept overcoming my temptation to revert to German, pushing through the
strangeness of the communication experience. At this point, a few days later as
I write this, it's hard for me to remember all the details of our exchange, but
what stands out is when she asked me, about 10 minutes into the morning, when
we'd start speaking English together--in German. "I am speaking English
with you," I responded, slowly, with a smile. This is after I'd spoken a
number of sentences with her in both English and German, and her having spoken
only German with me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I clearly remember looking at the clock about an hour later,
making a mental note that, despite her initial excitement, and her comments
about her continuing desire, she still had yet to mutter even one sentence to
me in English. Similar to days, weeks, and years prior, she was still inserting
a word or two here and there, when she didn't have the word in German to
use--but as for full sentences, really making that first step towards
transitioning to our 'new structure', nothing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">On the way to school, continuing to live in this strange land
where mama speaks a sentence here and there in English, and Kaya responds in
only German, Kaya says, "Ich habe Angst, mit dir Englisch zu
sprechen..." [<i>I'm scared to speak English with you...</i>] When I asked
her if she knew why, she said she didn't. I validated for her that it must feel
strange for her, likely in the same way it feels for me. When I picked her up
after school--a time which can often be a bit emotionally challenging because
she's tired and in need of a break--I wasn't sure which language to choose. So,
I went with 'business as usual' from the morning, trying a sentence here and
there in English, curious to see how she'd respond. Again, German in response.
And, similar to our drive to school, she shared with me again that she was
scared to speak English with me. Again, I asked if she knew what felt scary.
She bit my head off with that one, telling me adamantly, "Ich weiss es
nicht! Ich will nicht mehr darueber sprechen, Mama!" [<i>I don't know! I
don't want to talk about it anymore, Mama!</i>] <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">What I found so interesting about the day up to that point is that
I didn't find myself feeling attached one way or another. Emotionally, I was
aware of some relief that I felt, that we have this bond, in this special
language, and it won't just 'come apart', just like that. A friend pointed out,
a few days later, that it's going to take a lot longer for her to get used to
speaking English with me. For sure. As a language teacher, and someone who has
started a number of relationships in various languages with people, I know how
challenging it can be to switch once you've started--and that doesn't even
factor in the mother-daughter emotional bond that exists which naturally
contributes to the feelings that accompany the language.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">As I'm tucking her into bed that night, after an evening of more
of the same (smatterings of English from Mama, only German from Kaya), Kaya
says to me, quite calmly and matter-of-fact: " Ich glaube, es geht nicht,
Englisch zu sprechen...es ist zu 'weird', mit Dir Englisch zu sprechen." [<i>I
believe it's not going to work to speak Englisch...it's too weird to speak
English with you.</i>] "Das ist OK," [<i>That's ok</i>] I told her,
feeling so much love and admiration in my heart for her ability to just be with
what is, and state it as such. "Wir koennen nochmal probieren, wenn wir
wollen, wenn es sich nicht so komisch fuehlt." [<i>We can try it again if
we want, when it doesn't feel so strange.</i>]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">And with that, we kissed goodnight and said goodbye, at least
temporarily, to the plan that I actually thought would work (despite all of the
evidence I had to the contrary). I wanted it to work--I would love to be able
to communicate with each other in my native language at times. And at the same
time, I'm relieved it didn't. I am very happy we have this with each other,
despite how challenging it feels for both of us at times to say<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>exactly</i> what we want to
say. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">But from this whole experience I realize that the German's not
going anywhere anytime soon--so, I wonder, why not play around with some
English a bit more, at least in those moments when I really want to include others
more, or I just want to get something really complicated across to her? Yes, I
could be opening Pandora's box to a slippery slope of mixing hell, but it is
our life and our relationship, right? We can have our cake and eat it too, to
the point that I can support her knowledge and ability in this second language,
and simultaneously 'exactify' our ability to communicate as we want in any
particular moment?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The next question becomes...what do we do if we actually make the
lottery for the Spanish Immersion Program at our local elementary school?!!?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">(<i>As always, would LOVE to hear your comments, input, or shared
experiences! Thanks for traveling this journey with us!)</i></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-26811432002464701842014-05-08T23:21:00.000-07:002014-05-08T23:21:43.974-07:00Changing the Structure After 5 Years?!It's been so long since I've written on this here lil' blog that I was surprised that my computer even remembered the address when I typed the first three letters. If it hadn't been for those of you vocal and committed readers, letting me know you're out there, sharing your thoughts in response to my past posts, I probably would have had to go through the effort of typing out every last letter.<br />
<br />
On a more serious note, I so appreciate reminders that you're out there. In fact, the most recent note I received is likely the reason that I'm here now.<br />
So, thank you!<br />
I've missed you, dear international community.<br />
And I've missed blogging.<br />
<br />
But I'm back. Hopefully for a while, but at least for tonight.<br />
Things are brewin' on the bilingual horizon and I couldn't <i>not </i>share.<br />
<br />
As I left Kaya's room tonight, after tucking her in, I hear from her, in her sweet little 5-year-old voice, "Ich hab' dich lieb, sehr sehr sehr sehr sehr viel!" [<i>I love you, very very very very very much!</i>]<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJPgB109xi-Xb1r5fV1Jx7RHvBWS22CovsFPM4-AWs1CNxp-9Qt4esXan8H3n2iX4d13E9DEw0txsHKxF_Zr0paTIdZQq7GNnNdu1TMJC4v3Z-oiJpXiTXFO_iqv2ks27DAUoOuYJuIYkO/s1600/Kaya+on+the+log+at+Oneonta+Gorge+May+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJPgB109xi-Xb1r5fV1Jx7RHvBWS22CovsFPM4-AWs1CNxp-9Qt4esXan8H3n2iX4d13E9DEw0txsHKxF_Zr0paTIdZQq7GNnNdu1TMJC4v3Z-oiJpXiTXFO_iqv2ks27DAUoOuYJuIYkO/s1600/Kaya+on+the+log+at+Oneonta+Gorge+May+2.JPG" height="320" width="244" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Look of Confidence that Pierces<br /><i>Oneonta Gorge in the Columbia River Gorge</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Heart-melting, without a doubt.<br />
To be quickly followed up with a similarly sweet, "Schlaf schoen, Mami!"<br />
<br />
As much as I'd like to wax on a side note about the strangeness of this whole 'Mami' phase, after being called 'Mama' for 4 years, and most recently 'Mom', I will stick to the point that I was originally wanting to make: after the last 3 years of speaking only German with one another, using the commonly known methodology of OPOL (one parent, one language), it is <i>still </i>the language we use to communicate, albeit for a few words here and there that we both throw in when we don't know the term in German.<br />
<br />
That makes me really happy!<br />
Especially when I consider the road we traveled to get here.<br />
<br />
AND...it's about to all change.<br />
Tomorrow.<br />
<br />
As you may know, if you've been around since the beginning, or been curious enough to explore my posts from back then, I've certainly had my moments where I was ready to give up, and gave it <i>very </i>strong consideration. Granted, I never planned on throwing in the towel completely...it was more a matter of wanting to lighten the 'burden', the stress of not knowing (particular words, phrases, and more challenging, what the outcome would be), the pressure (of feeling like I should know more, speak better, etc), the fear (would we have enough connection, would she suffer somehow?), the doubt (is all this effort 'worth it'?). I thought about all sorts of different arrangements that I might work to ease my stress, including picking certain days, or parts of days, when we might speak some English with each other. I even remember a time, a few Christmases ago, when I thought we might whisper when we wanted to speak English. That seems so funny now. But I never 'let' myself try any of those alternatives. As much as I was very committed to her proficiency in German, I was also very afraid of what might happen if I did let up. And, underneath that, what that might mean about me if I did?<br />
<br />
Apparently, the intense personal development and coaching training has paid off, for I'm no longer stopped by my fear in this arena (and how great that feels!)...:<br />
<br />
As I was lying in bed with her, noticing how many English words she was infusing into her story from her day at school today, I asked her if she liked speaking German with me. "Jaaah," [<i>yeeaah...</i>] she said, wriggling with her whole body and burying her face in her pillow. As our conversation progressed, it became clear to me that she does like speaking German with me, and doesn't want to lose it, but is curious about and interested in speaking English with me, as well.<br />
<br />
Me, too.<br />
There has definitely been a part of me, since the beginning actually, that has wanted to have at least part of my relationship with my daughter in my native language--the reason that many, if not most?, bi- or multilingual parents choose the language they do with their children.<br />
I'm no exception.<br />
<br />
"Ich habe eine gute Idee," [<i>I have a good idea</i>] Kaya proclaimed, as we continued our discussion, snuggling close in the darkness of her room. "Wir koennten ein Jahr English sprechen, und dann ein Jahr Deutsch." [<i>We could speak for one year in English, and one year in German.</i>] I wasn't sure if she really meant 'year', or if she was going for another time frame--she is still learning the concept of time, and often gets the concepts confused, if not just the words (the bilingual thing definitely confuses the issue). After clarifying with her that she knew what a year really felt like (from the beginning of one school year, to the end, plus a whole summer), she verified that she really did mean 'year', and proceeded to explain to me why she thought this was a good idea. Granted, her reasoning wasn't much more than an explanation of what we'd do, but it was clearly her argument. One year English, then the next in German. Simple as that.<br />
<br />
As much as I'm into the idea of exploring options at this point, especially with my fluent 5 year old, I'm not into losing the language, which, I shared with her, is likely what would happen if we took an entire year off from the language. While not initially convinced, she ultimately heard me, enough to listen to my 'counter-proposal': "Wir koennten an einem Tag der Woche Englisch sprechen," [<i>We could speak English one day a week</i>] not quite confident about my idea, but happier with it than the idea of losing our German. She clearly didn't like that idea. "Was?!" [<i>What?!</i>] was her quick rebuttal. "Nur ein Tag?!" [<i>Only one day?</i>] As we lay there, ruminating on this idea that neither of us was so fond of, Kaya chimes in again. "Ich habe eine gute Idee! Wir koennten ein Tag Deutsch und dann ein Tag Englisch" [<i>I have a good idea! We could do one day German, and then one day English.</i>]<br />
<br />
What you gotta understand about this idea is how representative it is of how often this happens. Generally, we think of ourselves, as adults, as knowing <i>more</i> than kids, right? I mean, in my case, I've been on this planet for 35 years longer than my daughter, you'd think that I'd know more, and have more (and more unique?) ideas than my five year old. Well, apparently, bilingualism (or maybe it's just childhood?!) trumps my level of confidence, because it happens quite regularly that <i>didn't </i>even cross my mind--even on those topics, like this one, where I've been mulling for 3 years!<br />
Kaya will come up with an idea that <br />
<br />
Ingenious. One day on, one day off. The idea might exist in certain parenting books, but not any of the many that I read in her upbringing.<br />
<br />
As I mulled this idea over in my head, as much as I loved it, I also noticed myself feeling a bit hesitant about what it might mean for her (our?!) German. She's already mixing quite a bit, particularly on days like today where she spent the last 40 hours in an English-speaking environment. So, I proposed an amendment: "Ich habe eine Idee! Wie waere es, wenn wir an den deutschen Tagen Deutsch sprachen, und an den Englischen Tagen, Englisch mit Deutsch wenn wir wollten?" [<i>I have an idea! What about if we spoke German on the German days, and English on the English days with the option of speaking German if we wanted?</i>]<br />
<br />
Nein.<br />
Her antipathy was clear. That idea was not going to fly.<br />
<br />
And with that, she responded calmly, "Ich habe eine Idee! Wie waere es, wenn wir an den deutschen Tagen Deutsch sprachen, und an den Englischen Tagen, Englisch?!" [<i>What about if we spoke German on the German days, and English on the English days?</i>] I know it may not seem so funny on the screen, and it didn't seem funny to her either ("Mama, das ist nicht lustig..." [<i>Mama, that's not funny...</i>she said, laughing along with me], but I found it hilarious that she would propose that, as if so sarcastically to make her point.<br />
<br />
So, that's what we're doing.<br />
After 3 years of one method, 5 years of only ever speaking to my daughter in German (with a few explosive exceptions here and there), the structure is about to change. Yes, I'm a bit concerned, as I shared with her, a bit fearful that it might be a slippery slope and we'll never 'get it back' to this point ("Warum hast du Angst, Mama? Es ist nur...um...sprechen mit Deutsch...?" [<i>Why are you afraid, Mama? It's only...um...speaking with German...</i>]). And she, too, has her fears, as she shared with me just before I left her room: "Mama, ich habe Angst, dass wir morgen anfangen..." [<i>Mama, I'm scared about starting tomorrow...</i>]<br />
<br />
But despite our minimal fears and concerns, we are both excited!<br />
It's wonderful to be in a place, as George Saunders shares in his book, Bilingual Children: From Birth to Teens, where I can discuss with my daughter what she wants to do. Granted, I'm still older, with more experience on language proficiency, and what it takes to maintain fluency. But, as I highlighted above, she's clearly got me trumped on some other facets of her idea propagation.<br />
<br />
Maybe TRUST is one of them...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-91340630419408471992013-11-22T12:51:00.001-08:002013-11-22T12:51:20.143-08:00Fairies and Gnomes Speaking in EnglishThis morning, as I was rushing around the house trying to get us ready for our road-trip, Kaya starts telling me a story. Initially, it sounded pretty similar to much of what she'll say to me, full of passion and interest and a strong desire for me to connect and share her experience. But as I listened further, it slowly began to differentiate itself from other things she'll share. It was a story in German, as is normal with her still in her communication with me, but what began to be very clear is that she was relating not only an experience she had at school (which doesn't happen all that often), but that she was retelling a story that she's been hearing at school lately. A story about a girl who hears Mother Earth calling to her, and what happens with the Feen [<i>fairies</i>] and Wichtel [gnomes] when they heed her calling. Ok, so maybe that doesn't make sense, and I'm outing myself as way more interested in the fact that she was telling me the story, and <i>how </i>than I was in the details (that's the story of <i>my</i> life, actually!).<br />
<br />
She was following me around the house as she told me of the adventures of the girl and how she couldn't find the Wichtel and the Feen. As I beckoned her with my hand to come into my room (so as not to interrupt), she continued to her story, adding the song of Mother Earth. But what was different about this part of the story was that it was in English. Not <i>so</i> strange, as we'll often insert words here and there when we don't know how to say them in German. She continued the rest of the 'song' in English, and then, as she went back to narrating in the 3rd person, shifted back into German. Following me into the kitchen, she shared about how the "girl war traurig, weil sie die Gnomes und die Feen nicht finden konnte" [the girl was sad because she couldn't find the gnomes and fairies]. I was a bit surprised at how she was inserting words in English that she knew in German--but felt simultaneously in <i>awe</i> that she was taking the time and effort to interpret this whole story for me into German from English. And then, it hit me. As she continued to tell the story, I realized she was doing all of the narrating in German but all of the conversing in English. Every time the girl or the gnome or Mother Earth would speak, it was in English. But when she was explaining to me what they were doing or where they were going or how they were feeling...it was in German.<br />
<br />
I don't even know what to say that.<br />
Again, I'm in awe.<br />
<br />
It makes me feel aMAzed at this whole process, about how the brain works and how she makes the choices she does with the languages she has available to her.<br />
<br />
The thing about the English in this story is that in no way was it intended as an 'out' to not speak German, or as a test--which she will do and has been doing more so lately. When our neighbor, Simon, comes over, who understands German but generally speaks only English, Kaya will look at me directly and say something in English, clearly waiting to see how I'll respond. I realize how clear it is to her that I speak German with Si and how he speaks English back--and how that works for him. She is naturally wondering, in certain moments, if that will work for her. Not because she doesn't like speaking German with me--she continues to tell me that she likes that we speak German together--but because she's curious. It goes against what she's used to. To help her with this, I find myself tending to speak English with Si, and when I do, she seems to 'test' me less. I wonder if or when this will change--I would love to support his German, but also find it not nearly as fun speaking to him in German when he speaks back in English. Similar to how I felt about 2 1/2 years ago before Kaya started speaking all German to me.<br />
<br />
So, in regards to this insertion of English dialogue, it does feel different, and I continue to find it fascinating. She told me that I could make a video of her relating that story to me, so hopefully I'll make it happen soon and put it here or in another post.<br />
<br />
But in the meantime, I'll end on this other gem that she shared with me out of the blue as we were driving to school. As you might imagine, it brought tears to my eyes. And for those of you readers who are newer to our lives and may not know, Nana is my mom who died from Non-hodgkins Lymphoma when Kaya was 1 1/2, about 3 1/2 years ago. Kahlua was our 2nd family dog, who we put down a few years ago because he'd bitten too many people. She loved them both dearly, and hears us speaking fondly of them quite often:<br />
<br />
"Mama, weisst du was? Wenn ich an Nana und Kahlua denke, ich sehe sie in einem Feld, mit hohem Gras, zusammen spielen." [Mama, you know what? When I think of Nana and Kahlua, I see them in a field of tall grass, playing together.]<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-56813824435769026112013-10-18T22:42:00.001-07:002013-10-18T22:42:15.148-07:00Pirates, Pictures, and Purposeful IntegrationNearly every night, save for those occasions when Kaya is beside herself with exhaustion, we read a book and tell a story before bed. This rings a bell. I think I've mentioned this before. So, from an update standpoint, we still do it. And from a far more interesting perspective, I thought I might share a little twist from tonight's ritual that ended up being quite a fun way to integrate Dada, the non-German speaker, into a German story.<br />
<br />
As a backdrop, if you're not as well-versed on our situation, Geoff didn't know more than a few words of German when we started our bilingual journey nearly 5 years ago. Now he says that he gets the gist of about 90% of what we say. Not bad at all for the passive approach, huh, simply being <i>around</i> German and not having to speak it?! (kudos, Geoff!) We used to have all these grand plans, usually including, in some form or fashion, his incorporation of Rosetta Stone to make sure he'd be able to 'keep up'. And that may well be a necessity one day soon, as he hesitantly admits that his understanding is dropping as Kaya gets older, and that he might only <i>understand </i>about 65-70% of what we actually say.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-k5TRg0NYiH5b2Ds4PVINtrVh2f9ZvcNnCusFUmnOvVxjJR9ZCoRs32Tlp77hEixBu5spKPXBGzqqRvvFh6mcbVayhHed-q37GuCN7psfowL4zmaKAiEsszi1m7YbMPHZJSW21jhn3NfX/s1600/Das+grosse+Bildermaus+Geschichtenbuch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-k5TRg0NYiH5b2Ds4PVINtrVh2f9ZvcNnCusFUmnOvVxjJR9ZCoRs32Tlp77hEixBu5spKPXBGzqqRvvFh6mcbVayhHed-q37GuCN7psfowL4zmaKAiEsszi1m7YbMPHZJSW21jhn3NfX/s200/Das+grosse+Bildermaus+Geschichtenbuch.jpg" width="150" /></a></div>
But for tonight's purposes, snuggling on the couch and reading out of <u>Das grosse Bildermaus Geschichtenbuch</u> [<i>The big picture-mouse story book</i>], his level of German was not only fine but quite impressive!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHsMlA6Bty6z18AFCwyKnXWYxytsXLavsIBb-fo9NKWNTSWBbLn3KshCD0dqMB8yMCXKVpJOtVU7nVyAxP2xW9cJOIi95s0WoA_D38oBktkclq4ASxA9xJAwMb7-Q8wtjeZYiVkVV78RCf/s1600/Die+Woerter+zu+den+Bildern.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHsMlA6Bty6z18AFCwyKnXWYxytsXLavsIBb-fo9NKWNTSWBbLn3KshCD0dqMB8yMCXKVpJOtVU7nVyAxP2xW9cJOIi95s0WoA_D38oBktkclq4ASxA9xJAwMb7-Q8wtjeZYiVkVV78RCf/s320/Die+Woerter+zu+den+Bildern.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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<br />
<br />
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<br />
We started towards the back of the book where they have all the pictures with the corresponding words. We went down the list, starting with 'Meer' [<i>ocean</i>] and continuing with Insel and Sonne and Regen. For most of the words, I asked Kaya to tell us what the picture was--"und das ist eine...?" [<i>and that is a...?</i>], to which she would respond with a smile and the accurate word in German. A number of the words were new for her (and me, for that matter, too!), and for those, I would simply tell her--"Das sind zwei Anker." [<i>Those are two ankers.</i>] For some of the words, she knew the English, and would say that, but for the most part, we stayed in German until we got through the list.<br />
<br />
<br />
Kaya decided, quite excitedly, that she wanted to read 'Die Flotte des Koenigs' [<i>The King's Fleet</i>]--one of the pirate stories in the book. She and Geoff have been playing pirates lately, and it's definitely one of her favorite things to do lately. In fact, the other night, she even told me, "Mama, ich wiw dass du <i>jetzt </i>in die Ahbeit gehst, damit ich Piraten mit Dada spielen kann..." [<i>Mama, I want you to go to work </i>now<i> so that I can play pirates with Dada!</i>], which is quite a shift after the usual tears or dread surrounding my need to work. So, naturally, the pirate story was on the docket.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhS-CGcGcI0IG5FIwT9pzCtNgwnCo29g7qsgRUaAb-Rwsoar8gAi2GpV5eKL8T3p-KMxKCg1iEDRW_446WSxubkHr_vrrvToZCv1BRQJ01XgGB4teM8lGGsIOqFDMyV_b5Df3AQd-Rj6O3/s1600/Die+Pirateninsel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhS-CGcGcI0IG5FIwT9pzCtNgwnCo29g7qsgRUaAb-Rwsoar8gAi2GpV5eKL8T3p-KMxKCg1iEDRW_446WSxubkHr_vrrvToZCv1BRQJ01XgGB4teM8lGGsIOqFDMyV_b5Df3AQd-Rj6O3/s320/Die+Pirateninsel.jpg" width="320" /></a>We've read from similar books before, specifically with the incorporated pictures, but never together with Geoff. So, I thought it might be fun for us to flip-flop back and forth between them as we'd come to a picture. And while it took them a few sentences to get the rhythm down, with my reading the words and them saying the pictures, it was quite fun once we got rolling! Geoff remembered just about every word for all of his pictures, and Kaya would break out in a huge grin when one of us would whisper the word before she'd say it aloud. Her grins ultimately turned into laughter, and we all decided we needed to read the 'Pirateninsel', too. [<i>Pirate Island</i>]<br />
<br />
There's one other story ritual that we have at times that similarly makes for quite the integration of languages. While we'll often just tell a story from the innermost reaches of our right brain, sometimes it's kind of nice to have some story fodder. So, Geoff came up with this idea many moons ago in which he opens to a page in picture book (Richard Scary's <i>Wunderbare Welt der Wimmelbilder </i>[Richard Scary's Biggest Word Book Ever] is one of our favorites for this, though the picture dictionaries--like First Thousand Words in German-- are great, too!) and starts telling a story about a character on the page.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1znc8BamK5yqkwoeso-P-gEXDB3jCgQsKbW10YuEevXQxwEGWpLlMML9kGN7QrY1B6mysqJFCwfyXTix8dHGZ_L-MTXP7mNcjWmETkxHkPjWp8EO1xyyzOX6nXrmkjsGXmuIupZXX6VFN/s1600/Telling+a+story+to+Kaya.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1znc8BamK5yqkwoeso-P-gEXDB3jCgQsKbW10YuEevXQxwEGWpLlMML9kGN7QrY1B6mysqJFCwfyXTix8dHGZ_L-MTXP7mNcjWmETkxHkPjWp8EO1xyyzOX6nXrmkjsGXmuIupZXX6VFN/s320/Telling+a+story+to+Kaya.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The trick is that he doesn't tell Kaya which character is the star, so she has to listen to the development of the story while she looks for the character on the page. Tonight's story, for example, was about a kitty who wanted to sleep because she was so tired (the page, as you may know, is filled with all sorts of kitties, and pigs, and foxes all doing different things in different locations). Try as she might, she simply couldn't find a place to slumber. She tried the first house, but it was too loud because they were laying bricks and bending pipe. The next house was too loud because they were installing plumbing and a chimney. And the next house was getting new windows and a roof. But finally, the kitty found a nice quiet place to sleep on top of the steel structure (?!).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibwiDOe1SDqUdA-Jf7IM37nyXwD7jylYSYYz17G2nfVjUc4fIk8TPmtvuOra0g0Nm0a7Qu_oir_fVw8WlzRXUNTG4jfaV2bkDUDeet-KQEcjeEwBzff_xRsCx_0qKPdYd71xPTcrWfSNYq/s1600/Kaya+Pointing+out+Piggy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibwiDOe1SDqUdA-Jf7IM37nyXwD7jylYSYYz17G2nfVjUc4fIk8TPmtvuOra0g0Nm0a7Qu_oir_fVw8WlzRXUNTG4jfaV2bkDUDeet-KQEcjeEwBzff_xRsCx_0qKPdYd71xPTcrWfSNYq/s200/Kaya+Pointing+out+Piggy.jpg" width="150" /></a>As you can imagine, Geoff told his story in English--while he's learned a lot, it would be quite a feat if he knew how to say chimney and plumbing and steel structure (not even sure I know the latter two!). And as you might guess, when I play, I tell my stories in German, as I did tonight with one about a mean piggy who got pushed into the water by the kitties and was thankfully rescued by a compassionate kitty with a crane. She struggled a bit with this one, which can be quite fun in regards to the hide-and-seek component of the game. Where is the piggy with soggy pants so sad and so saved?<br />
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I do a lot less wondering and worrying now about what our family might be like down the road with two different languages. I used to worry quite a bit, though, struggling to conceptualize how a family could be anything close to cohesive with such a language differential. I do recognize that our situation is a bit unique in that Geoff understands enough to fit in (and then some)--but in moments like tonight, where I'm hyper-aware of the language experience, I definitely appreciate that bilingualism has done anything <i>but </i>pull us apart.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-47764399947915373172013-10-17T09:12:00.002-07:002013-10-17T11:42:37.703-07:00Marvin's Adventures in Bilingualand<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As hesitant as I am to share this video, in part because of my personal criticism of my own German (for those German speakers out there!) as well as the bird nest in my daughter's hair (who wants to inflict discomfort on their baby when she's sick?!), I think it paints a pretty good picture of a few concepts that might be nice to illustrate at this stage of our bilingual journey. </div>
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First of all, since it's been a while since an update like this, I think it would be good 'for the record' (this one's for you, Kaya!) to share that we continue to speak all German 99.9% of the time. I can remember 2 instances in the past 2 months when I've spoken to her in English, and when I do, it's out of extreme frustration and a few words are enough to get me back on track to German. Similar amounts of English come out of her mouth towards me, though not in moments of frustration--simply when she just doesn't know the word. Actually, now that I think of it, I'm more loose with my English in that regard with her, and from time to time, I'll say the word in English, usually prefacing that I don't know how to say it in German but this is what it is in English. This video illustrates some of this point pretty well when Kaya is telling me how old Marvin is and says "seven" instead of 'sieben'. This similarly highlights some of the challenges that she has with her language, numbers being one of them. Without having done the research (Annabelle of the <a href="http://www.thepiripirilexicon.com/" target="_blank">piri-piri lexicon</a> might know this, though!?), I'd guess that it's pretty normal for kids to struggle to in this regard--while she knows how to count sequentially in both languages (I'm not exactly sure how high in each, though has def. been playing in the 20's in both, and likely higher in English), it's hard for her to name a number outright in German straight from English. At times she can do it, but 7 seems to be causing her challenges lately. This is something that I see with my language students as well, though...sequential counting comes first, then the skill of being able to name numbers out of order. </div>
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There are a couple of other points that I thought I might highlight with this video, too, specifically regarding the topic of the conversation in itself. Kaya has a whole world invented regarding which of her 'children' and 'friends' know German, English or both. This video was my cursory attempt to get into this world of hers and come out with an understanding of who can do what. I think it's fascinating, this concept, and would love to dig into her reasoning of whence and wherefore. Apparently, as you can read in my transcription below, Marvin (the monkey) is her only 'friend' who knows German.--nothing like creativity!) Actually, to be more accurate, I think Marvin is one of her children (ignore the fact that he's older than she is In fact, as I find out later in the video, he's bilingual too, just like Kaya. This kid, much like myself as a child, has a whole world of 'friends', including the newest to the bunch, Coco (the eaglet). And you'd think with a name like 'Tante Jamie' (Aunt Jamie...who is our German-speaking next door neighbor), that baby of hers would be able to speak or at least understand German. But alas, Marvin is the only one. Not Stella, either, who happens to have the same name as our host daughter from Germany (named BEfore we knew about her, I swear! <i>Destiny?</i>). Nor Hazel, nor Max, nor Kylee.</div>
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And for those grammar geeks out there like me (and my sister!), you might be curious to know that, while she sometimes puts her infinitives accurately at the end of the sentences after conjugated modal verbs, and kicks her verbs after appropriate conjunctions, she had a even split in this conversation: once, while talking about baby talk, she puts it in the middle, but when asking me to get her a nose rag, she puts it at the end. And to top off the grammar analysis, she has a tendency to confuse some idiomatic expressions (I think that's what they are!?), like the one in this conversation where she says, "alter dann mir" instead of 'aelter als ich'. I didn't learn that term until 2nd or 3rd year college German, so I can only guess this type of mistake is pretty common for little kiddos in German, too?</div>
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So, despite my geeked-out, language teacher analysis, it's pretty easy for me to celebrate the fact that, after about 2 years now, Kaya continues to speak fluent German with me--and teachers at German Saturday School or Sommercamp--and while it does tend to lag a bit behind her English development, I watch it grow. Never really 'catching up', but the spurts happen in both languages, and are pretty clear to me. Which is really quite amazing to me--as normal as it now seems.</div>
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I continue to have my phases where I want to give up, or at least give up with this intensity of this OPOL (one-parent, one language) method, as I felt quite strongly 7 months ago. But as with many of the phases I experience in this process, they all seem to pass as I continue to lean on and call on the support of the amazing community I have in my life (that's you!). </div>
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So, without further ado, I now welcome you to take a peek into a few moments of our afternoon as Kaya was home sick from school and excitedly playing with her babies in the swing that we just put up on her bed for them:</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Welche von deinen Kindern koennen Deutsch sprechen? Oder verstehen? [<i>Which of your kids can speak German? Or understand it?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Uh, Marvin. </div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Und die anderen nicht? [<i>And the others can't?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Nein. [<i>No.</i>]</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Oder koennen sie beide, Deutsch und Englisch? [<i>Or can they speak both, German and English?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Er kann Engrisch und Deutsch, und sie kann nur sprechen wie ein Baby! [<i>He can speak English and German and she can only speak like a baby!</i>]</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Ohhh .Babysprache. Das ist eine ganz andere Sprache, oder? [<i>Oh, baby talk. That's a whole different language, huh?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Ja. [<i>yeah.</i>]</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Ja. </div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Kannst du mein Naselappen holen? (off screen...Was hast du gesagt?) [<i>Can you get my nose rag? What did you say?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Hab 'No highers'. [<i>I said "no highers"</i>]</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: No highers? Ich dachte er konnte Deutsch. [<i>No highers? I thought he could speak German?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Ja er kann doch. [<i>Yeah, he can.</i>]</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Kann er beide? [<i>Can he speak both?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Ja. [<i>Yeah.</i>] (looking at me as if to say, Well, YEAH, Mom. Isn't it obvious?!)</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Oh, wie du. Er ist zweisprachig. [<i>Oh, like you. He's bilingual.</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Aber er ist alter dann mir. [<i>But he's older than me.</i>] (translated directly, grammatically incorrect)</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Oh, alter als du? Wie alt ist er denn? [<i>Oh, older than you (</i>repeated back grammatically correctly<i>)?</i></div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Seven. </div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Sieben? [<i>Seven?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Ja. Machst du ein Video? [<i>Yeah. Are you taking a video?</i>]</div>
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<b>Mama</b>: Ja. Willst du es sehen? [<i>Yeah. Do you want to see it?</i>]</div>
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<b>Kaya</b>: Ja. [<i>Yeah.</i>]</div>
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Any input you have, or stories you'd like to share below would be, as always quite welcome and very appreciated!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-60708014824907865452013-10-16T16:38:00.003-07:002013-10-16T20:54:09.154-07:00Patience and Persistence and Pay-OffI'm sitting here in the sunshine, on this epic Fall day here in the Pacific Northwest, wishing I could be taking it in more and letting IT be the catalyst for a different mood. And at the same time, I'm learning--slowly--the true value in being able to accept 'what is', however uncomfortable it is, and let that be part of the process to getting where we want to be.<br />
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So, here I sit, feeling a bit drab. <i>Disappointed </i>might be a better word. I just had a coaching conversation with a client with whom I've been working for months, and as hopeful as I was about it--after a truly epic and inspiring week of training in Ottawa--it didn't go as I expected. I wasn't able to apply all of what I was hoping to apply in the way I was hoping to apply it. As thorough and life-changing as this method is, as many changes as I continue to see in client after client, it feels really hard at times to really apply it as it's designed to be applied. Did his mood change? Yes. For sure. Was he able to see a few things in a different light? I believe so. Was I able to make some new moves, try some new things, like I set out to do before I started? Yes, I suppose I was. But talking myself, cognitively, into believing that it's 'good enough' just isn't working right now.<br />
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As I was procrastinating on preparing for my next client, I saw the window for my blog, open in my browser, and I began to wonder about the connection between my experience now and that of my bilingual journey. Perhaps because writing feels so therapeutic for me--just like the research supports!--and I am now, once again, committed to staying connected here, to you, my amazing blogging community. And I really want to be in a different space when my next client comes in a few hours. So, while I was reflecting and wondering about similarities, it hit me that, just as it took me a while to feel comfortable speaking my non-native language to Kaya, it will similarly take me a while to really get this methodology in my <i>bones</i>. I want it there now. I want to be an Master Level <a href="http://tamarastaton.com/" target="_blank">Integral Coach</a> <i>right now. </i>But as I lay it out here, in black and white, I realize how unrealistic that is. It takes time, and that's why I'm in <a href="https://www.integralcoachingcanada.com/" target="_blank">training</a>. It won't happen over night. None of it does, be it German, Spanish, English, coaching, banjo, dog training, (and especially) parenting...<br />
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I never really realized what a lesson this bilingual journey could serve for me, but it's quite clear now:<br />
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Patience and persistence <i>does </i>make a difference...<br />
together with a HUGE dose of self-compassion and <u>love</u>.<br />
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Soon, I'll post a video to illustrate this fact. But for now, it's prep time.<br />
Thanks for joining me in this journey...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-27258315102700934782013-10-14T00:47:00.002-07:002013-10-16T21:03:06.017-07:00Does Absence Make the Language Difference Grow Stronger?It's just after midnight and in order to see the words I'm typing, I have to keep blinking to moisten my contacts. But I can stay away no longer. When I look at the date of my last post and see that it's been more than 3 months since I last wrote, I cringe. As usual, I've had moment after moment, thought after painstaking thought, of what I might write to break this longstanding silence. And then I don't--for all sorts of reasons, fear being only one of them. I know, I know, what the hell might I be afraid of!? Well, I suppose I continue to recognize this desire to 'make it good' and if I don't think I can, I don't.<br />
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But alas, the more I get to know that tendency, the more gently it can just slip away...so here I am.<br />
Finally.<br />
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And oh, does it feel so good.<br />
I'm glad to be back. Every time I return, I remember how much I appreciate and miss you--this little international community of bloggers whom I've 'gotten to know' over the years as Kaya grows up.<br />
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I've been away for so long spending most of my time on two primary 'front burners' in my life (it's not just a personal desire for perfection that keeps me away from the keyboard). One of the passions I've written about a great deal, and surely will write about more with time: climate change. The other, while not directly related, has very much to do with that concept, as I hope to, one day, merge my desire to create a stable climate and future with my passion for <a href="http://tamarastaton.com/mission" target="_blank">coaching others to make a difference</a>. While I don't know how exactly I plan to get there, and where my path will land, I am on the journey...and as much as I love it, it certainly doesn't leave as much time for blogging as I'd like.<br />
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But before my eyes cloud over completely, I want to at least get out some of the thoughts I was having this afternoon regarding coming home after more than a week away from Kaya.<br />
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While I know, cognitively, that there's always an adjustment period, it always seems to hit me in a way that I least expect it. I find myself feeling sad that we can't connect in the way that I imagine it: with her running up to me in the airport, jumping into my arms, and covering me with kisses. Just like in the movies. Or maybe in the movies, it's the mom who does that to the kid...but the kid is <i>definitely </i>into it (as long as she's under 8!). At least that's how it is in my movie. But in my life, it doesn't look that way at all. Instead, it takes us about a day to get back into that place of feeling truly connected, to that point where she's actually happy to be riding behind my bike on her tagalong instead of Dada's. Or where she's hugging my leg in addition to his.<br />
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I tell myself that it makes sense. I know it does. I've been gone for 8 days, and she's been with her grandparents for 5 of those days--I know that, at least for her, she needs some adjustment time. But admittedly, I do find myself wondering if, and how much, the bilingualism has to do with that need. As you may know, Kaya is fluent in both English and German, and speaks German with me and English with everyone else in her family and community. Thus, while at Grahms and Grandpa's, it's all English, all the time. When I called, in fact, to say hello and 'I love you' last Wednesday, she wasn't interested, and handed the phone back to Grandpa. In my doubting mind, I wonder if the transition would be smoother if she and I spoke the same language as she speaks with everyone else? Do her words get rusty? Is it a language thing or a Kaya thing?<br />
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As I mulled all of these thoughts around this afternoon, I found myself dancing with the thought of how grown up she seems, and noticed a tug of sadness at my heartstrings. Is she growing up in English and I'm not noticing it because I'm with her in German all of the time? Or is it that I was just gone for a week, and she really did grow up a good bit, using word "like" in her storytelling in English: <i>he was, like, going all over the place!</i> (I remember when my dad forbade me to use that word around him in middle school!)<br />
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And then, as our connection grew with every passing hour this afternoon, I began to recognize the 'growing up' in her German, too. Her language flowed as she spoke, pointing out the Katze [<i>cat</i>] and other notables in our neighborhood as we pedaled down the street.<br />
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And as I sat on that seat, riding down the street, hearing her behind me with all of her excitement for all that was around us, it hit me that I just need to follow her lead and do the same. For it's the flowers and the kitties and the neighborhood pups that can serve to remind us of what is here and now, and what isn't.<br />
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It's nice to be back. I look forward to 'seeing' you soon--and, of course, as always, would SO love to hear from you below!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-44924297898025681812013-07-01T23:38:00.000-07:002013-07-01T23:38:26.650-07:00Love TrumpsSometimes, I really feel like blogging mirrors my sugar addiction. There I was on email, connecting quickly with a friend, when I heard myself think: I wonder how the blog is doing? Worded differently, I wonder if we're on the upswing? I don't know for sure if i'm more tempted to write on the down-swing or the up, but either way, I couldn't stay away from a post. It was like having ice cream in the freezer after an overwhelming evening: too tempting.<br />
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It might not be so alluring if I hadn't had this amazing <i>love fest</i> with Kaya tonight during bed time--clear fodder for a long-overdue blog post. It was one of those moments that gets immediately filed in that happy place, one that you're sure will be with you forever.<br />
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Geoff was just starting in on the guitar, singing her some lullabies as one of both of us does every night. She and I were lying on her loft bed, next to one another under the covers. After we got her all situated--including getting cream and benadryl for this awfully itchy rash on her back and tucking snuggle-monkey into the crook of her neck--she nestled into the covers and grabbed my hand. For a few minutes, she'd be on her left, only to roll quickly on to her right--where we'd then be facing each other. Within a few minutes, her fidgeting slowed and she started staring at me. But it wasn't just any stare. It was this <i>look</i>, a deep penetrating connection, through the biggest smile I've ever seen on <i>anyone's </i>face. Ever. She just smiled. And stared. And when I thought her smile couldn't get any bigger, it did. Along with mine. We just stared. And smiled. And laughed, at times, when the smile could no longer contain our joy.<br />
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As I lay there, gazing into her smiling face, it hit me:<br />
Yes, I worry about her level of German, and whether it will carry us through the communication I want us to have in our lives.<br />
Yes, I tend to believe that she's far more verbose and expressive in English right now.<br />
Yes, I find myself wondering what to do about these beliefs and concerns, wondering even further if my perspective is skewed.<br />
But what I don't worry about is our love and the connection we have behind language.<br />
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Throughout this bilingual journey, I realize how much emphasis I've put on the words, on the abilities to learn them, to form them into sentences, connected by intricate and accurately-used conjunctions. But what I've tended to ignore until now is the power behind the words, and all that can be and is expressed above and beyond language.<br />
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Who knows if Kaya is a different kid in German than she is in English. Sometimes I think so.<br />
And who knows if we'll do this forever.<br />
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But when I come back to that 'love fest', to that presence and power, it fuels me.<br />
It leaves me with a sense of confidence that, as many concerns as I've had about the pros and cons of this journey, love trumps.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-21809909893019484582013-06-17T23:19:00.005-07:002013-06-17T23:19:50.503-07:00Collision of DreamsThis really is the <i>last</i> thing I should be doing right now, starting a post at 10:45pm. But I can't help it! I've missed writing, missed connecting with you all, missed being able to slow my thoughts down enough and capture all the amazing experiences and quotes and memories of our bilingual adventure with Kaya.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgybkLGQtFgoAP8rMUdAjUqPZPF-6ZBUkOBURxl2NWE37o3ws51f1dy-7tiG0f6jQSlGm5fjAViEWwOjd08mIZHSkUIAA3m8sUBswwOaUP6Im2U63dgCDa7hZrsXEc_XESUdbO_Ntp_myCy/s1600/IMG_8345.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgybkLGQtFgoAP8rMUdAjUqPZPF-6ZBUkOBURxl2NWE37o3ws51f1dy-7tiG0f6jQSlGm5fjAViEWwOjd08mIZHSkUIAA3m8sUBswwOaUP6Im2U63dgCDa7hZrsXEc_XESUdbO_Ntp_myCy/s320/IMG_8345.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Backpacking Last Wknd on the Lower Salmon River </td></tr>
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So, tonight, I had to at least take a few moments to get my butt back online and at least MARK the moment. After all these years of concern, of wondering whether to focus on German or on the Outdoor thing, I finally bumped into an opportunity that allows us to do both. Granted, not necessarily at the <i>exact</i> same time, but in the big picture of things, both are happening, and that naturally makes me exceedingly happy.<br />
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To make my point more clear, Kaya started at <a href="http://www.gspdx.org/index.php?index=SUMMER_PROGRAMS" target="_blank">Kindersommer </a>this morning, through the German American School of Portland, where she'll be immersed in German songs, games, crafts and books for the next two weeks, 9-3pm (and then again for the last few weeks of summer, too). It's really a dream come true for me, despite the long hours away from my babe, and she<i>that</i> made me even <i>more </i> thankful that I bumped into the idea online, too.<br />
's quite happy too: an amazing opportunity within the city, in our own country even, for her to be surrounded by German by people other than me. After school, in fact, I bumped into a woman from LA, California (who so generously shared raspberries and blueberries with Kaya!) who found the program online when they weren't able to make their yearly trip to Germany. They drove up here as a family just so their kids could take part in the program! Hearing <br />
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While I didn't hear a <i>ton</i> about her experience today, I did get lots of smiles and heard a story about her new friend whose name she knows but couldn't say and reminds her of a different friend, Anya. I'd put quotes around that, but she told me this in German, so it wouldn't be quite as accurate. But this girl was "sehr nett" [<i>very nice</i>], and they played together for much of the day, Kaya told me. AND they read a book by the same author of one of her favorite books, Silly Sally (since, as Mama didn't really realize, the whole theme of these next two weeks is on Audrey Wood!). For me, aside from having so much time to get tons of work done and so many errands run, the best part was how the teachers knew <i>exactly</i> what to do to help Kaya warm up to a brand new experience in a brand new place. For a mama, there's nothing more relieving than having a teacher who can take your stressed-out, gripping-your-wrist child and gently transform them into a quiet, relaxed being who's now eager to adventure and join the group.<br />
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Definitely a sign that we made a good choice on this one!<br />
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Soon, oh so very soon I hope, I'll dive into the annals of our language experience of late...definitely lots to say on that front from our wild and wonderful little four and half year old bilingual. But until then, it's nice to be back. I hate being gone that long...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-77742979880775149992013-04-08T16:18:00.000-07:002013-04-08T16:18:36.911-07:00Staying Strong for the Journey (Part 4)<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And for the final,<b> and possibly most important</b>, piece of our presentation (<i>see parts <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-do-you-say-climate-crisis-in-german.html" target="_blank">I</a>, <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/danger-and-opportunity-part-dos-zwei.html" target="_blank">II</a>, and <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-momentum-brings-us-hope.html" target="_blank">III</a> for more details about our presentation on the Climate Crisis, if you're just coming on to the scene</i>), how do we not lose hope when we choose to let reality in?</span><br />
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<b>Staying Strong for the Journey</b><br />
<i>Written and delivered by Katherine Jesch</i><br />
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So, now we know: There are strategies that seem to show potential for slowing, and even reversing some of the worst of the impacts of the impending climate disaster, but they’re not the easy ones any more. And simply taking our own small steps individually, while necessary, isn’t enough. We must, in addition, join the hundreds of thousands of people around the world who are working to change economic, social, and political systems that keep us stuck in the old ways.<br />
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To move forward, how do we bring our best selves to the effort and avoid the deepest despair and burnout? What will keep us strong and motivated so our actions can be amplified to be most effective?<br />
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Fortunately, as UUs, we don’t come to this work empty handed. Our <a href="http://www.uua.org/" target="_blank">Unitarian Universalist</a> faith gives us the strength to sustain our commitments over the long haul. I want to explore four of the gifts our faith teaches us that are critical to the work: commit to justice; practice gratitude; choose hope; nurture community.<br />
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JUSTICE<br />
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Our religious ancestors had a history of demonstrating their faith through their work toward justice. Our own congregation is a model for this way of being religious. You know that the Alliance is the descendent of the Ladies Sewing Circle that started this church in 1862. The original founders were activists in the Portland community with their eyes wide open. They paid attention to what was going on around them and they took steps to improve conditions for education, public health, care of animals, among other issues. I see that heritage in action today in our more than a dozen social justice groups, in the rich lifespan learning community for young and old and everyone in between. And in our care for each other in so many beautiful ways. <br />
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In more recent times, our environmental values have become a highly visible part of that faith. We were the first denomination to adopt a theology and policy statement on climate change in 2006. Now, as we approach the climate tipping point, we must step it up, taking our response to a whole new level. The Community for Earth is providing some tools to help us do this.<br />
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GRATITUDE<br />
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Now while our faith calls us to action in a broken world, it also reminds us that this world is a beautiful place, and it is a gift to simply be alive in it. To forget that fact, to separate ourselves from that beauty, is to open the floodgates of despair. A critical antidote to this despair is the spiritual practice of gratitude. I heard a Rabbi preach this message some years ago at a global warming conference. He claimed that Americans suffer from “Gratitude Deficit Disorder” – We keep trying to make ourselves happy through more stuff, but of course it never works, so we have to grab for even more. It’s a never ending escalation, this addiction to stuff. We must break the cycle, remembering that happiness comes from relationships, community, and the satisfaction of worthwhile endeavors. Gratitude allows us to let in that beauty.<br />
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HOPE<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One hundred years ago, Glacier Nat'l<br />Park in Montana had over <br />150 glaciers. 25 remain today...<br /></td></tr>
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It is true that facing a future on a much warmer planet is very scary. Directly confronting the consequences takes more courage than most of us can muster except in very small doses. The farmer-poet Wendell Berry is exactly right when he says, “It is the destruction of the world in our own lives that drives us half insane, and more than half. To destroy that which we were given in trust: how will we bear it?” It’s healthy to acknowledge the despair we feel, understanding that despair is a response “that arises from the depth of our caring, from the truth of our interconnectedness with all beings. But despair without an alternative vision of where you want to be, and without companions to go there with you, is simply debilitating. <br />
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The great healer of despair is hope. But hope can be tricky. Many assume that hope is only possible if you’re really certain that in the end all will be well. But this is a misinterpretation. <br />
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Frances Moore Lappe and her daughter Anna Lappe write this in their book Hope’s Edge: “ . . . Hope does not come from convincing ourselves the good news is winning out over the bad. Nor does it come from assessing what’s possible and going for that. Since it’s not possible to know what’s possible . . . we find new energy in this very truth. In the awareness of possibility itself – always unknowable – we are free to focus on creating the world we want. Hope comes from a place deep within. Hope is not what we find in evidence. It is what we become in action. We become hope because we are alive. We become hope because our planet needs us to. And our hope can spur us on to choose a healthy and sustainable future.”<br />
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COMMUNITY<br />
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So how do we move forward on that choice? Tamara told us about what some activists are doing now, and what more we can do, so there are lots of ideas. We could spend several hours on that topic alone. But just as important is how we maintain momentum instead of giving up.<br />
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Campaigning for a carbon tax doesn’t give Tamara hope. Her hope comes from the relationships and shared efforts they create in the <a href="http://www.citizensclimatelobby.org/" target="_blank">Citizens Climate Lobby</a>. She then shares that hope with those of us here at First Church in the Community For Earth, and today, we share it with you. As a community, we can help each other stay engaged and motivated, while together we find ways to celebrate the abundance of the earth. <br />
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Let us draw on our faith for sustenance. With our passion for justice, gratitude for the beauty, hope for the future, and a community to share the journey, let us choose a healthy and sustainable future, today, and every day in this remaining window of opportunity – the 13 years Tamara told us is what remains for us to pull back from the brink of catastrophe. Without a lamp, it’s awfully hard to find your way out of that place. Our faith is that lamp, and what keeps it burning are the precious and sustaining relationships nurtured in our congregations and the other communities of which we are a part. Together, we must work toward that healthy and sustainable future as if our life depends on it. Because, in fact, it does.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thank you so much for being a part of our presentation, even if only from afar. I came away very inspired to share this message with as many people as possible, and am currently working to make that a reality--posting it here, being just a part of the journey. If you are aware of any audiences in the Portland Area that may be open to a presentation on Climate Change and how we might respond effectively, or perhaps with more detail on the Carbon Tax and or the science behind it all, please don't hesitate to let me know. And, of course, the more you can <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-do-you-say-climate-crisis-in-german.html" target="_blank">share</a> and spread this information, the better off we all are, as a global community! We have quite a beautiful thing to protect for these children of ours, and theirs, not to mention for all those organisms who aren't able to protect it for themselves...</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-88831194577961607722013-04-06T22:54:00.001-07:002013-04-23T23:39:50.671-07:00The Momentum Brings us HopeGeoff and I tried to go on a date tonight...we got as far as dinner when we got our first call, with a very sad Kaya on the other end of the line. "Ich wiw mit dir kuscheln...," [<i>I wanna snuggle with you...</i>] I barely understood her say, through her despairing sobs. Five phone calls later, it was becoming clear that we'd be unable to enjoy the the Timbers game--the ultimate destination of our date--knowing how upset Kaya was on our bed at home.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Osterhase, Kuschelaffe, Kaya & Marvin, Snug as a Bug in a Rug</td></tr>
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Once we got home, I was surprised at how eager I was to comfort her. Such a welcome difference from feeling frustration or resent, as I might expect of myself after having my evening 'interrupted'. She, too, was clearly quite happy, as she giggled and smiled her whole way through bedtime. When we finally landed in her bed to snuggle, she was asleep within minutes, and when I got up to leave, I couldn't believe how cute she looked, nestled amongst her favorite snuggle-friends.<br />
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How can I <i>not</i> do everything in my power to protect this beautiful earth for her future?<br />
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As eager as I am to wax on about the connection that I feel with her, about how, in this moment and the past long while, in fact, I've felt no concern about any lack of connection with her in this 'non-native tongue', <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2011/01/emotional-connection-in-non-native.html">as I've expressed in the past</a>, I'll save that for a future post, and will, as promised, share with you Part III of our presentation on our response to Climate Change. If you're just "joining us", I encourage you to read <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-do-you-say-climate-crisis-in-german.html">Part I</a> and <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/danger-and-opportunity-part-dos-zwei.html">Part II</a> of our presentation, which includes some of the science behind climate change as well as how we might respond from spiritual and moral perspective.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Evidence that momentum is gathering gives us hope</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>Written and delivered by Tamara Staton to the Alliance at the First Unitarian Church</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i>...In response to Katherine's question of me</i> <i>regarding how things are working out, and how much we're really capable of, I share this...</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Well, Katherine, there is a plethora of good news, actually. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">First of all, there is a global recognition that a problem exists, which is causing momentum to build quickly. Australia, for example, which is one of the world’s leading exporters of coal, introduced a carbon tax just last year. And In the year that this carbon tax has been in effect, there has been a significant drop in carbon emissions, and their renewables are now cheaper than coal. China, in addition, has announced that they will be introducing a pilot cap and trade system, which is huge because they are now the world’s biggest source of carbon pollution and growing quickly. And in the United States, in terms of new energy generation capacity that was built last year, there was more energy produced from renewables, like wind and solar, than from fossil fuels. Similarly, the cost of renewables is going down while the cost of accessing fossil fuels is going up. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />All in all, the science of climate change is getting stronger and stronger and the denier arguments are getting debunked, to the extent that the deniers and the denier arguments are really on the fringe of serious discussion. This is in one of the only remaining countries—ours-- where there’s still any serious question that climate change is real and caused by human activity. All in all, this alone is great reason for hope. <br /><br />As you may have noticed, all of these changes are systemic. While there are naturally individuals working in the mix, these momentous changes are on a grand scale, affecting the structures that regulate and ultimately determine how we live in community. Like the ability of our faith to enable us to look beyond ourselves, these systemic changes require the same, are exactly what is needed for us to halt the 13 year prediction. Over the past many years, society has been delivering messages that individual solutions, like planting gardens and taking the bus and flying less, are enough to solve the crisis. I believe that these messages have been aimed at keeping people from feeling too small, like their actions don’t matter and can’t make a difference. As important as this message is, we need to send a new one now: <b>The individual solutions do make a difference, in the ripple effect that they cause, but we need bigger and faster. We need the speed and scale that systemic changes can offer to humanity and all life forms on the planet. </b><br /><br />For me, I know that I tend to get overwhelmed pretty easily. As detail oriented as I am, I often find that, when the details are too many and too big, I shut down. And this climate change situation is naturally full of MANY details. At times, I’ve found myself wondering, how do we affect the system as just ONE individual. It’s huge. Once we’re past the point of shut down, what is our role in the framework of our national and global community? <br /><br />As you heard me mention earlier, the momentous changes that are occurring around the world are because of thousands of individuals coming together in community to make a difference. While some of those changes may seem like a matter of one—one government, one law, one decision—they are actually changes that were inspired and taken on by community, in some manner. For example, many of the large scale projects and systemic changes that are occurring across the world are being taken on by one of the hundreds of organizations worldwide dedicated to climate action. As Emily mentioned when she introduced me, I have the most personal experience with number <a href="http://earthdirectory.net/globalwarming.htm">32</a> on the list, <a href="http://www.citizensclimatelobby.org/">Citizens Climate Lobby</a>. In April of last year, I helped to start our Portland Chapter, and I wanted to share some of my experience with you not only because of how this group has empowered and inspired me to make a real difference, but because it is a solid example of how individuals can come together to work towards and make a systemic difference. To address climate change, we’re going to have to make big changes to get ourselves off fossil fuels, and one of the most powerful tools to do that is to put a price on carbon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> When I first heard about the national group, Citizens Climate Lobby, I was uninterested. Having no experience, nor interest, in politics, I didn’t think that any group with the word “Lobby” in it’s title would be anything for me. But when I began to think about what it’s really going to take to get more people on the bandwagon in this country, not to mention others around the globe, it hit me that most people act when they have to. When the storm hits their county, they take action. When the money comes out of their paycheck, their wallet, they start to listen. For this reason, an organization that has the power and capacity to affect change on a systemic level, at an inspiring and committed grassroots level, is worth being a part of. For this reason, a tax on carbon where the revenue is returned to every American household, could be the systemic change that we need to beat that 13 year prediction. And as an organization, CCL has that revenue-neutral carbon tax as its primary policy objective. “Political Will for a Livable World” is our mission, but there is an underlying message that comes through everything we do: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Relationship comes first. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Because it does. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If we have relationship with the person on the phone asking for money, we generally give at least some of what we have. And most of us will bend over backwards to help those we love. And so from this understanding, more than 1500 volunteers in nearly <a href="http://www.citizensclimatelobby.org/content/ccl-map">90 chapters</a> across the US and Canada take individual actions that contribute to a systemic change that can turn things around. As members of Citizens Climate Lobby, we build relationships by sending hand-written letters each month to members of congress, as well as writing Letters to the Editor of major newspapers. In 2011, for example, we were published 181 times in our Letters to the Editor, to be superceded in 2012 by 535 published letters. This year, we’re already averaging well-over 100 a month, including op-eds. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We also build relationships by meeting in person with members of congress and the editorial boards of newspapers. In January, we had 16 meetings with editorial boards, and we had 537 meetings with members of congress last year. These actions give us hope, because over four years, we’ve gone from being laughed out of the office for our carbon tax proposal to being supported by congressman who are proposing legislation for the same. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We are actively building and strengthening our group, both here and in many other cities in the US and Canada, so if you or anyone you know might be interested in joining forces, taking action, or <a href="http://citizensclimatelobby.org/content/donations">signing on as a supporter</a> (financial or otherwise), we’d love to hear from you, and I have an invitation for you here with more details. </span><br />
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As you can imagine, it would have been strange for me to download the audience with all sorts of details, like date and time (every Wednesday, 5pm!) for the introduction calls, should someone be interested in learning more. Similarly, for me to share the link for <a href="http://www.tfaforms.com/275537">call registration</a> would have been quite cumbersome and awkward. Thus, I share it here, and I <u><b>thank you</b></u> for making it all the way to the bottom of this lengthy post. If it's not clear already, Citizens Climate Lobby has changed my life, and I would <i>highly </i>recommend you listen in on an intro call if North America is your home <i>and</i> you want to be a part of the systemic solution that we need. And Dr. Hansen would agree:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"Most impressive is the work of Citizens Climate Lobby, a relatively new, fast-growing, nonpartisan, nonprofit group with 91 chapters across the United States and Canada. If you want to join the fight to save the planet, to save creation for your grandchildren, there is no more effective step you could take than becoming an active member of this group." </span> <span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>- Dr. James Hansen, head of Goddard Institute for Space Studies, NASA</b></span></span></div>
<br />
Stay tuned for the 4th and final part of our presentation, entitled, "Staying Strong for the Journey." Hope you can round out your online version of some hope and inspiration regarding what some consider the biggest issue of our lifetime...<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-38188946052844467352013-04-05T10:22:00.000-07:002013-04-07T15:42:59.740-07:00Danger and Opportunity...Continues<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->To those of you who are following up specifically from my post yesterday, <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-do-you-say-climate-crisis-in-german.html">How do you say Climate Crisis in German</a>, welcome back! I know that at least one of you out there felt like I left you hanging on a cliff, after not providing further information about how we might respond to this climate <i>situation</i>. Today, I'm going to share the second part of the presentation that Katherine and I gave to the <a href="http://www.firstunitarianportland.org/our-programs/adult-programs/the-alliance" target="_blank">Alliance</a>, which is a group at the First Unitarian Church in Portland with "the purpose of strengthening
communication and support among members; nurturing spiritual growth; working for a society in which there is justice and equality for all; and discovering, preserving, and celebrating the history and contributions of
Unitarian Universalists." So, while this second part of the presentation clearly wasn't written for <i>all</i> audiences, I share it because it provides a scaffolding, even for non-UUs I believe, to begin to respond to climate change in a way that can not only leave us with more hope, but can make a difference on a grander a scale--which is what we now need.<br />
<br />
Before diving into the presentation, however, I thought I might briefly share the 7 Principles of the Unitarian faith, as Katherine uses those in her speech as somewhat of a backbone<i>...</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>There are seven principles which <a href="http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/" target="_blank">Unitarian Universalist congregations</a> affirm and promote:</i><br />
<ul>
</ul>
<ol>
<li>The inherent worth and dignity of every person;</li>
<li>Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;</li>
<li>Acceptance of one another and encouragement to <nobr>spiritual growth</nobr> in our congregations;</li>
<li>A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;</li>
<li>The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large;</li>
<li>The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;</li>
<li>Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.</li>
</ol>
<ul>
</ul>
In addition, knowing the multiple sources of Unitarianism might give you a better reference point from which to process this part of the presentation...<br />
<br />
<i>Unitarian Universalism (UU) draws from many sources:</i><br />
<ul>
<li>Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed
in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an
openness to the forces which create and uphold life;</li>
<li>Words and deeds of prophetic women and <nobr>men</nobr> which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love;</li>
<li>Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life;</li>
<li>Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;</li>
<li>Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason
and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind
and spirit;</li>
<li>Spiritual teachings of earth-centered traditions which celebrate the
sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the
rhythms of nature.</li>
</ul>
<br />
So, without further ado, I now present you with Part II of "<b>Danger
and Opportunity: A UU Response to the
Climate Crisis",</b> written and delivered by Katherine Jesch, a Unitarian Minister for Earth. <br />
<ul>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Faith Based
Response</b></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The science
explains what’s going on, what exactly is happening around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;">But I think it’s our faith, our
belief system that helps us figure out what to do with that knowledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-CA" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-CA;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span>Albert
Einstein once said “Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness
that created them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of you here
today are already aware of the climate change problem at an intellectual
level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe that’s why you came today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But has that awareness sunk into your heart?
Into your body?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Openness to
that awareness begins with the type of reflection we started with here:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you respond to the <u>feelings</u>
that arise from the mention of climate change?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m convinced that the need to move to this deeper awareness is
precisely why we need to bring this conversation into our faith
communities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It isn’t enough to leave
this business to secular organizations like 350.org, and the <a href="http://www.citizensclimatelobby.org/">Citizens ClimateLobby</a>, and the Sierra Club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A different
level of awareness – moral and spiritual awareness – is critical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The necessary transformation in the way we
live on this planet is not possible without it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our faith gives us the framework to think about the morality of the way
we live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is about more than
personal behaviors. It’s also about the social and economic structures we
create to sustain our families and communities, providing justice<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>---<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or
lack of justice, for all who live in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Religions offer something beyond individualism and self-interest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Our
spiritual orientation shapes how we see ourselves in the world, how we relate
to one another, and how we respond to the crises of our time. Our world view
and moral values in turn, shape the way we participate in the social, economic,
and political systems which we have helped to create. Our life-ways are
embedded in those systems, defining where and how we live, what and how much we
consume, and who controls distribution of benefits and costs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For
Unitarian Universalists, our seven principles serve as an ideal foundation for
developing our unique, yet universal, perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, our first principle calls us to
honor and respect the worth and dignity of every person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve got that message when it relates to oppressed
and marginalized people in our own communities, poor, people of color, gays and
lesbians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we must also understand
that so far, and in the near term, the worst impacts of climate disasters hit
poor and marginalized people most seriously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sea level
rise is already forcing mass migrations in the South Pacific and Bangladesh,
among other coastal areas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Native
villages in Alaska are already in chaos from the melting permafrost that used
to be their ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As agriculture is
disrupted by drought and severe erosion, food scarcity will be a burden
heaviest on the poor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And with
new awareness regarding our non-human neighbors, have you ever considered what
it might mean to extend worth and dignity to every living being in creation,
even to the micro-organisms in the ocean that make up the crucial base of ocean
life systems?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re really going to have
to stretch our thinking with that one.</span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Our 3<sup>rd</sup>
principle recognizes the importance of spiritual growth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know many UUs who find their spiritual path
in a deep connection with nature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can
explore the many traditions of human-Earth relationships through various
spiritual practices, such as worship, study, and meditation, as well as through
gardening, or hiking in the woods or on the beach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Through these practices, we are nurtured in
both our individual and communal spiritual lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Our 4<sup>th</sup>
principle promotes a free and responsible search for truth and meaning,
reminding us that truth unfolds only when we actively seek it – and let it
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our study of the science behind the
changing climate certainly does involve a critical search for truth, and it
calls us to a deeper reflection on what changes will be required in the way we
live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And
finally, the 7th principle is the one that most of us think of as our
environmental principle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminds us
that we’re part of something larger than ourselves, larger even, than just
humanity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It tells us that our religious
life is not complete without acknowledging and celebrating the interconnected
web of all existence, of which we are a part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It gives us the basis for reflecting on our relationship with nature:
how it nurtures and sustains us in our daily lives, and what our responsibility
is for caring for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Our
principles challenge us to learn to use our power and privilege in the service
of liberation, not oppression.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we
take them seriously, this is no small task.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The natural response, the very human response to this challenge is to
hold on to our comfortable lives, avoiding the truth of our predicament and
resisting the necessary changes that would take away the privileges that make
our lives worthwhile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So of course we
prefer to lull ourselves into believing that modest adjustments to the way we
live are sufficient to the challenge, or that modest adjustments are all we are
<i>capable</i> of achieving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well, I
submit to you: we are capable of so much more!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thank heavens the storms like Hurricane Sandy and the New England
blizzard of 2013, didn’t bother us directly in the Northwest, at least not this
year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is a gathering storm of
activists turning up the heat and light on the necessary changes before it’s
too late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell us, how is that working
out, Tamara?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much are we capable of?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
And with that, I will return tomorrow, with Part III, to share some details on what's happening out there, and how that, in itself, can bring us hope...! </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-25876954837001753622013-04-04T02:05:00.000-07:002013-04-05T10:24:48.050-07:00How do you say "Climate Crisis" in German?!There's something about Kaya going to spend the night at her grandparents that often leaves me feeling inspired to write. Granted, I'm one of the <i>very </i>lucky ones in the world with family who not only lives close, but family members who are completely enamored with and passionate about playing a big role in Kaya's life. Thus, she goes there weekly, as you may have heard me reference in the past, and I get one day (and night!) to play 'woman' vs. my usual role as Mama.<br />
<br />
This week, however, I'm lucky enough to get TWO nights (I don't think my all caps THANK YOU can come through loud enough to my wonderful in-laws across the river)--so even though it's midnight-thirty right now, I know that I not only get time to sleep in tomorrow (did I say 'lucky'?!), but I also get time on top of that to catch up on work, on gardening, on cleaning, and even some time to run alone. Thus, I'm inspired to write without the pressure to get to bed. Seems like it should be <i>my </i>birthday, not Grahm's...!<br />
<br />
So, this afternoon as I was riding this emotional high from a presentation I'd just given, I had this idea to try something a little different on my blog. Generally, I do my best to make my posts here as Kaya-related as possible, though I have certainly veered towards thoughts and feelings that surround us in our bilingual journey. The presentation I gave this afternoon, however, was a bit further removed from Kaya, and specifically from our bilingual adventure. When I thought about it more, however, I realized that it has <i>everything </i>to do with Kaya and her future, not to mention your future (and possible present!), as well as that of your children, grandchildren, and the children of your friends. Thus, my post tonight will include the first of four parts to the presentation we gave this afternoon entitled, "Danger and Opportunity: A UU Response to the Climate Crisis".<br />
<br />
As you may be aware, <i>UU</i> stands for Unitarian Universalist, and according to the <a href="http://www.uua.org/" target="_blank">Unitarian Universalist Association</a>, is a "liberal religion that embraces theological diversity; we welcome different beliefs and affirm the worth and dignity of every person." As a fellow Unitarian, and part of the Community for Earth group, I had the opportunity to do a presentation today with with Katherine Jesch, a Minister for the Earth <i>and</i> the minister that I <i>happened to randomly choose</i> 7 years ago to marry my husband and I (before even starting to attend the UU church). As hesitant as I am to bring 'religion' into my blog (as <i>non-religious</i> as I tend to identify), I was really happy with not only the presentation itself--and my excitement and overall calm in giving the presentation--but with the feedback we received by the audience afterwards.<br />
<br />
Thus, as important as this topic is to me, and as important as it is to all life forms of this planet, I share Part I of "Danger and Opportunity: A UU Response to the Climate Crisis". <i>(By the way, before diving into this part, we led an interactive paired-share for the group, where they shared their response to the term 'climate change', and then shared some of what they heard in the large-group.)</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
----------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Evidence of the
Impending Disaster<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyDp__hF9ZKqvfgKTEDUMkC221bDGFDegTyT7ymi5q4TzeL5CSK4Pr9sp_RQbmcCL3yJfTiMniLlN_SwEpoTYRX3i37KxOrkVvS3um800XALR_tVWpEQXnlSkZNGj8ABUaY-azIthamB8/s1600/Powell-Science-Pie-Chart.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyDp__hF9ZKqvfgKTEDUMkC221bDGFDegTyT7ymi5q4TzeL5CSK4Pr9sp_RQbmcCL3yJfTiMniLlN_SwEpoTYRX3i37KxOrkVvS3um800XALR_tVWpEQXnlSkZNGj8ABUaY-azIthamB8/s320/Powell-Science-Pie-Chart.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As evidenced by many of your responses, the term Climate
Change brings up a number of reactions. I, too, have had a variety of reactions
to the information that I've learned over the past many years, and until
recently, did a pretty fine job of avoiding any input (which was most!) that
left me feeling helpless and overwhelmed. After finally realizing over the past
few years, however, that my actions CAN and DO make a difference, I am better
able to truly look with open eyes, and let reality in--without the debilitating
overwhelm that I used to feel. It is in this vein that I share some evidence of
the gravity of what we're facing--with the hope that you, too, will be able to
find inspiration in the truth.</span></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are five main points that serve as evidence of severe
climate change and the drastic need for us to take immediate action to turn
things around: an increase in CO2, temperature and extreme weather, as well as
the rise in sea level and acidification of the world's oceans.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'll briefly touch on each of these to give you a better idea
of what we’re facing.</span></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As you may know, 350ppm is the upper limit for safe levels of
atmospheric Carbon Dioxide, or CO2, and <a href="http://climate.nasa.gov/evidence/" target="_blank">we are now at 396</a>. While there have
been clear undulations in CO2 levels over the past 800,000 years, never in the
record of human history, much less in the 200,000 years of human existence,
have CO2 levels been as high as they are now. </span></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Excessive CO2 and other greenhouse gases cause the earth to
warm. During the prolonged heat wave last spring, <a href="http://www.nrdc.org/health/climate/extreme-weather-ticker-2012.asp" target="_blank">671 heat records were broken</a>,
including the hottest March since record-keeping began back in 1895. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hurricane <st1:city>Sandy</st1:city>
and the widespread fires in <st1:state>Colorado</st1:state>
and <st1:place>Eastern Oregon</st1:place> are just two examples of the extreme
weather caused by warmer temperatures. According to the Natural Resource
Defense Council, 2011's severe
weather events struck communities all over the </span><st1:country-region><st1:place>US</st1:place></st1:country-region>,<span class="apple-converted-space"> <a href="http://www.nrdc.org/health/extremeweather/default.asp" target="_blank">breaking over 3200 monthly weather records.</a></span></div>
<o:p></o:p>
<br />
<div class="ListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: line-height: 12.95pt; margin-bottom: .25in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The rising temperatures are also causing a <a href="http://www.epa.gov/climatechange/science/future.html#sealevel" target="_blank">rise in the global sealeve</a>l, mostly due to melting land ice from <st1:place>Antarctica</st1:place> and <st1:place>Greenland</st1:place>. According to the EPA, since 1870, global sea level has risen by about 8 inches, and over the next 100 years, is expected to rise at a greater rate than during the past 50. While this may seem negligible, the flooding of coastal areas as well as the ultimate overpopulation of cities which are currently more inland, will not be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And lastly, while the <a href="http://oceanacidification.net/" target="_blank">acidification of the oceans</a> may not seem like much of an issue, when you consider that the acid is dissolving the shells of the organisms at the bottom of the food chain, it puts it in better perspective. The acidification is actually occurring so quickly that it poses a serious threat to biodiversity and all marine life, and could destroy all our coral reefs by as early as 2050. As you can imagine, it has the potential to disrupt other ocean ecosystems, fisheries, habitats, and even entire oceanic food chains. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Carbon Budget Story</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What really matters from all of this, however, is this: There is a limit on the amount of carbon we can emit. When scientists calculate how much carbon the atmosphere can absorb before the impacts are intolerable, they estimate at the present rate of emissions, <a href="http://grist.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/information-is-beautiful-co2-graphic.jpg" target="_blank">we’ll exceed that level in just 13 years</a>. … 13 years is a very short amount of time to turn around our total lifestyle in order to minimize the risk of climate catastrophe. My daughter will be 17 then, on the brink of her adult life. How do we turn things around on such a grand scale in such a short amount of time? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That’s what I find myself wondering, anyway, and imagine that many of you might, as well. Assuming you’re still “here” that is. As I began to talk, I mentioned that I used to avoid any input that would leave me feeling helpless and overwhelmed. And when I consider all of the facts that I just shared with you, regarding the severity of the situation we face, I’m aware that each of you in this room similarly has your own personal reaction and way of processing, or not, the information you just heard. It’s an awareness of this response, coupled with a willingness to manage it, that is the true beginning to “tackling” this issue. So, if you would, take about 15 seconds to check in with yourself, with your body, to see how all this information is sitting? Did you check out at any one point and start thinking of something else? Do you feel a sadness in your heart or belly? See if you can become aware of the reaction without judging it, but just letting it be what it is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>I hope you'll join me for <a href="http://www.nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2013/04/danger-and-opportunity-part-dos-zwei.html">Part II </a>over the next few days...the power of our presentation, I believe, is in coupling the facts with gentle guidance for response, specifically focusing on the hope that is necessary to let it all in and ultimately take some action.</b> To take in the facts and be left with despair, with no exit into hope, is debilitating, and the last thing I want for anyone to experience as a result of what I share. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So, please, come back soon, and don't hesitate to share your comments below. Thanks!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-39278825145095738482013-03-01T01:10:00.001-08:002013-03-01T01:10:08.917-08:00Not all 'Denglish' in the ForestHow quickly can I peck out this post, as the minutes tick by after midnight...?!<br />
Knowing that I'll have a whole day tomorrow, with little to no opportunity to share, has me pushing past my unofficial bedtime because this experience excites me so...<br />
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A few days ago, while "gathering data" for our school-decision process, my friend Megan (another Mother Earth School mama) was telling me about how her son knew a lot more than just the names of the plants in the forest, but how to use them, too. She relayed a story about a fern on a tree, how he had instructed her in the best foraging practices, as well as how to use it: "You don't just pull the whole plant off, Mom. You have to just take the root...and you don't just eat that, you have to scrape off the outer layer first..."<br />
<br />
I was in awe. All this from a Kindergardener with just two years of Mother Earth School under his belt.<br />
As I said in my post yesterday, this was one of those things that I really wanted for us, and for Kaya.<br />
<br />
And then, it happened to me, too.<br />
Just 6 months in, and Kaya is teaching me now, too!<br />
<br />
Lately, I've been a bit sad, concerned that perhaps Kaya doesn't share with me much about the specifics of what happens at school because it's all in English. There are so many terms that she, not to mention I, don't know in German. I figured that, in so many ways, it's probably so much easier for her to share with Dada about her day that she would just bypass me and wait for him.<br />
<br />
But today, she proved me wrong.<br />
And oh how joyous it felt to be so wrong.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmhB8LztC2kkGM2n69Fv4cryYTvtMyrC5ErR8kvsfiVDMsiQ61NFAPhurc1ILJVQGNmFlRMWlbcHY6nGZiVckWzjJfomG4OFyb6-VNa8er4we1gq1F6dkmIHi4aEXzMy_UtviW7FuJdkuW/s1600/Licorice-Fern-Polypodium-glycyrrhiza-Groundcover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmhB8LztC2kkGM2n69Fv4cryYTvtMyrC5ErR8kvsfiVDMsiQ61NFAPhurc1ILJVQGNmFlRMWlbcHY6nGZiVckWzjJfomG4OFyb6-VNa8er4we1gq1F6dkmIHi4aEXzMy_UtviW7FuJdkuW/s320/Licorice-Fern-Polypodium-glycyrrhiza-Groundcover.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Licorice Fern, surrounded by moss</td></tr>
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Walking down the dirt road, heading for home after school, Kaya points up at the tree above:<br />
"Diese Pflanze heisst Licorice Root in Englisch, Mama." [<i>That plant is called Licorice Root in English, Mama.</i>]<br />
<br />
I turned around, amazed at what I'd just experienced.<br />
Did Rylan tell Kaya that I was dying for this experience, dying to know what she knows, what she's learning, desperately eager for my daughter to be able to identify and use the plants in our forests?!<br />
<br />
Naturally, I was curious if she'd say more, so I waited a few. When I heard nothing, I couldn't help but inquire further:<br />
"Benutzen wir die ganze Pflanze?" [<i>Do we use the whole plant?</i>]<br />
<br />
"Nein," she responded, confidently. "Wir muessen nur die Root nehmen." [<i>No, we musst only take the root.</i>]<br />
<br />
Damn. She nailed it. And then, she topped it off in the car by telling me, in a solid Denglish mix, what to do with the root: "Und wir benutzen das nicht bis wir den <i>Moss scrapen</i>." [<i>And we don't use it until we scrape the moss off...</i>].<br />
<br />
If we hadn't already decided that this would be her place for next year (whooohoooo!), this experience certainly would have solidified it. Maybe she was holding out on me until I actually got my ass off the fence and let her really settle in...<br />
<br />
How do people without kids ever learn these really big lessons in life?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-46360411756990564302013-02-27T23:56:00.001-08:002013-02-27T23:56:52.845-08:00My Nana Incarnate (& the Nanaphone Revisited)<br />
Last night, at the dinner table with Estella, Geoff and I, Kaya let us in on some of those curious questions that children begin to develop about life, and it's unavoidable opposite:<br />
<br />
<b>Kaya</b>: (directed at Geoff) Did you have a mama when you were younger?<br />
<b>Geoff</b>: Yeah.<br />
<br />
Very eager to know if she knew who it was, I busted right in with a follow-up, naturally in German. Fortunately, she's allowing this from me, lately, with no unpleasant screeches or screams.<br />
<br />
<b>Me</b>: Weisst du, wer seine Mama ist? [<i>Do you know who his mama is?</i>]<br />
<b>Kaya</b>: Nein...<br />
<b>Me</b>: Grahms.<br />
<br />
Kaya didn't say much in response, acting neither surprised nor interested. Naturally, I was very curious to know if she knew who my mom was.<br />
<br />
<b>Me</b>: Weisst du, wer meine Mama war? [<i>Do you know who my mom was?</i>]<br />
<br />
I really didn't expect her to know this, either, since she sees Grahms every day and hasn't seen Nana in years (which is likely why, since she has a relationship with Grahms that she never had with Nana). But, after pausing a moment, Kaya responds, huge smile forming on her lips.<br />
<br />
<b>Kaya</b>: Nana...<br />
<b>Me</b>: Ja, genau! [<i>Yeah, exactly!</i>]<br />
<br />
After about a minute, and quite out of the blue, Kaya shifts the focus.<br />
<br />
<b>Kaya</b>: Warum ist Nana gestorben? [<i>Why did Nana die?</i>]<br />
<br />
I have to admit, I was quite surprised by this question. Though we've talked a bit about Kahlua's death, our dog whom we had to put down last year, death hasn't been much of a topic at all, despite the fact that Nana died nearly 3 years ago. It's not that we've avoided the topic--she defiitely knows that Nana died, and we talk about her on a very regular basis. But on the whole, Kaya hasn't been very interested in the topic. I guess it's about that time, though (she's also got a new friend in her school who has been very interested in the concept lately, too).<br />
<br />
The exact response we gave her--something along the lines of Nana being very sick, the kind of sickness that you don't just wake up with and die from overnight, and the fact that everybody dies one day--was less meaningful to me than what she said a few minutes into the conversation, once again, a bit out of the blue. I was so taken aback by the insightfulness of the comment, as well as the delight on her face as she said this, pointing at all of us and towards herself, that I laughed aloud, falling in love with her <i>all </i>over again:<br />
<br />
<b>Kaya</b>: Vielleicht wird es andere Leute mit unseren Namen sein, nachdem wir gestorben sind. [<i>Maybe there will be other people with our same names after we're gone...!</i>]<br />
<br />
Where did this come from?! Did they talk about this in school (which I somehow doubt!)?<br />
My mom was such a believer in reincarnation.<br />
And I chose Kaya's initials, KL, in honor of my mom, Karen Lasnover.<br />
<br />
While I've never been one with strong beliefs around reincarnation, this is one of many experiences that definitely leaves me thinking, once again, about my mom's passing so soon after Kaya was coming into her own in this world. Having Kaya as a part of my life, especially as she gets older, leaves me feeling so close to my mom, so connected in a way I never imagined possible.<br />
<br />
Yesterday morning was no exception, in fact, now that I reflect on the experience we had soon after getting out of bed. I was clearly annoyed with Kensa, our dog, after letting her out, then in, then out again, attempting to get her to stop barking at the neighbors. After a few minutes of this, Kaya looks at me lovingly, and calmly and inquisitively asks me, "Mama, warum bist du so frustriert?" [<i>Mama, why are you so frustrated?</i>]<br />
<br />
Here I was, feeilng so frustrated with an innocent, well-intentioned, loving beast, understandably wanting to protect her space and her family, and my 4 year old calls me out in the most compassionate way I can imagine possible. I was floored. And so grateful.<br />
<br />
Taking her in my arms, and into my lap on the couch, I cradled her close and thanked her. "Danke, Baby. Danke, dass du mich gefragt hast. Das ist wirklich eine gute Frage. Warum <i>bin</i> ich so frustriert?" [<i>Thank you, Baby. Thank you for asking me that. That's a really good question. Why AM I so frustrated?</i>]<br />
<br />
It's a bit hard to explain, how meaningful this is to me, but what Kaya did for me--gently bringing the light of awareness to my actions--is what I've been working towards for a long time. Being able to be mindful of my way, and then to hold this way of being with compassion and love, is what I know to be my path to peace. And here, my four year old, my loving mom in spirit, was able to model this for me.<br />
<br />
I couldn't be more proud.<br />
And in awe.<br />
<br />
The following video gives a little flavor of Nana in our life these days. Tante Lena came for a visit--one of my mom's closest friends--and asked Kaya if she still had the <a href="http://nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2011/04/nanaphone.html" target="_blank">Nanaphone</a>. Naturally, we had to "call" her. While it certainly won't win Best Picture, or Most Exciting Movie of the Year (nor any awards for Cinematography), it does let you in a bit to the wonders of the Nanaphone (even if Kaya tends to be more shy this time around, while she normally has <a href="http://nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2011/04/sup-nana-nanaphone-video-footage.html" target="_blank">full conversations</a> with Nana on the phone 'by herself'). Enjoy! (and THANKS, Lena, for this enjoying Nana with us in that wonderful way!)<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-76502530112026104742013-02-26T12:06:00.000-08:002013-02-26T12:06:15.857-08:00The Preschool Quandary: Trilingual or Trees?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHBdk8oe7PcAetcKEaCGqIHMAGrU_GIJ0sJSiO3w5QiZLCQrqhMe3zV0O4olYmTQu5MUsCNmFLsJj6Jt1WM4QZrZPWJD3X3abSnRXT7R1L1247Z1iOblFczz24bvzH5bUuCmTxavPxCETG/s1600/2012-10-03+09.46.54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHBdk8oe7PcAetcKEaCGqIHMAGrU_GIJ0sJSiO3w5QiZLCQrqhMe3zV0O4olYmTQu5MUsCNmFLsJj6Jt1WM4QZrZPWJD3X3abSnRXT7R1L1247Z1iOblFczz24bvzH5bUuCmTxavPxCETG/s320/2012-10-03+09.46.54.jpg" width="320" /></a>Once again, I'm feeling inspired after my run in the park. Tryon is so beautiful, especially on bright mornings like this one, sun shining through the trees, brightening the buds bursting from the trees. It's definitely that time of year, where new life begins to emerge, where new questions arise, where we begin to look to the future, wondering what life will look like down the road a bit.<br />
<br />
For us, and for many of you out there, too, the end of winter earmarks a time for school decisions. Will we stay here? Will we start afresh? What will be best for my child and for us as a family?<br />
<br />
I definitely have all of these questions, and then some, racing through my head lately--and being on my run this morning, in the amazingly beautiful park where I could continue to have my child go to school 4 days a week, provided no reprieve from the chatter. Somehow, though, the intensity of the thoughts felt more calming out there. That should be my answer right there, really...<br />
<br />
When I think back to last year, to a similar time of school decisions, I find it kind of comical that I'm sitting in this place again, wondering, after having finally settled last year. I think this is why some of my German friends, raised in the GDR, preferred some of the simplicities that Communism offered--with so many choices, it really can be overwhelming at times. This is not to say, dear universe, that I'm wishing for my choices to be taken away. I know that there are many out there with no choices, and I am incredibly grateful for what I <i>do</i> get to choose. I'm just acknowledging the overwhelm I feel at times. It's important to recognize it so I can move beyond it to a choice.<br />
<br />
So anyway, in just a few days, the <a href="http://www.motherearthschool.com/" target="_blank">Mother Earth School</a> wants us to sign our contracts if we want to return for next year. And similar to last year, I've recently heard about another preschool that is closer to our house, <a href="http://www.wildwoodnatureschool.com/" target="_blank">Wildwood Nature School</a>, which has me wondering about the 'better' choice. It has Spanish, this new school, AND a focus on nature. The assistant teacher speaks 90% Spanish with the kids, which could mean up to 15 hours a week of 3rd language input for Kaya. Not enough for her to start speaking it anytime soon, but over time, certainly enough time for passive bilingualism.<br />
<br />
As a trilingual German, Spanish and English speaker, this is certainly exciting, this prospect. Starting her with Spanish at around the age of 5 was something we've continued to consider, esp. since the 3rd language starts at that age (and goes until 6ish). This could be our opening. This could be our time to really sink our teeth into this opportunity and pave the path for a trilingual future for our daughter. With the added bonus that she'd get outdoor time, too...<br />
<br />
My husband often talks about the 'gray areas', reminding me that something may not be as black and white as I tend to think it is. Even now, my auto pilot is wanting to assess whether he's 'right' (and thus, I'm 'wrong')--which school will be 'better'. Will she be outside 'enough'? Is consistency that important? What is the power of place-based education that can't be measured? If we don't jump on this Spanish opportunity in this 3rd language window, is the door closed? Of course not, even I know that. But what is it about this fear of mine that keeps arising? What is it about being a parent that has us only wanting the best for our children, wanting to open doors for their lives, wanting happiness for them, and ease of life?<br />
<br />
Instinct, I suppose.<br />
It's damn strong.<br />
<br />
When I first sat down to write, I actually felt pretty strongly, almost clear, in fact, that Mother Earth is where I want Kaya next year. In the car on the way to school this morning, she says to me, in that sweet little Kaya voice, "Mama, kann ich bei meiner Schule bleiben?" [<i>Mama, can I stay at my school?</i>] After clarifying that I understood her correctly, I was dying to shout out, <i>Of course you can, my love, of course! I want to give you everything you want, I want only the best for you, I want you to be happy. Of course you can stay there, if that's what you want!!</i> What is it about this analytical mind that seeks the answers, seeks to find what will, in fact make her happy and healthy, and support our family in what is most important (and affordable) to us? We act like we know, at least I do, like if just analyze enough, if I gather enough information, I'll figure it out, I'll know the answer and can make my choices from there.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0aXFcmFRdePz_uMQ9OlrtZhJbLfe50Xk9ynKjayxPdvpN-r4WwXfL9_ZGKnuLRL4saTugBo2KbbeDWzErxej2HwDJrvWZKNJ6ahFGrzVXZKBnRrmrmh_l-bi_X-SpW-78EMgnOo_o-Sr9/s1600/2013-02-25+14.42.11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0aXFcmFRdePz_uMQ9OlrtZhJbLfe50Xk9ynKjayxPdvpN-r4WwXfL9_ZGKnuLRL4saTugBo2KbbeDWzErxej2HwDJrvWZKNJ6ahFGrzVXZKBnRrmrmh_l-bi_X-SpW-78EMgnOo_o-Sr9/s320/2013-02-25+14.42.11.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Macleay Trail in Forest Park on our hike with Arletta yesterday</td></tr>
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As I get older, though, or perhaps just better able to go inward while simultaneously feeling more connected with my surroundings, I find that it's actually <i>not </i>all about gathering info or analyzing. While I was running this morning, I felt clear that I wanted Kaya to continue to be immersed in nature 4 days a week. I ran past two school groups in the park, groups that go out into nature perhaps once a week (if that), and felt grateful that Kaya is out there 11 hours a week, really experiencing the forest, the garden, the spring, even the cold winter (from her warm woolens and rain gear!). But I feel this fear of declaration, like I do when I know I need to eat less sugar, but don't want others to see my weakness when I cave. It's like the pregnancy thing, too...this theme keeps arising: I want both, really, sometimes more in some moments than others. Sometimes, I want her to be at a school that is closer to our house, one that can open the Spanish door earlier than if we start her in Waldorf in 1st grade. Sometimes, I'm shocked that I would want anything other than what we have right now, which is working wonderfully, beautifully, creating a child who teaches her cousin (as she did with Arletta in Forest Park yesterday) about buds, about how you have to be careful with them, touching them gently instead of breaking them off the tree. <br />
<br />
On Friday night, as I was researching Waldorf education, I grew teary-eyed. <a href="http://www.themagiconions.com/2010/10/discovering-waldorf-waldorf-from.html" target="_blank">Line after line</a>, <a href="http://vimeo.com/4893044" target="_blank">clip after clip</a>, I realized with my whole soul that Waldorf is the direction I want for Kaya. Why then, do I even consider pulling her out of this Waldorf inspired, forest-farm, outdoor immersion program that we love?! <br />
<br />
Because of the drive? Because of the Spanish? Because of the money?<br />
<br />
Oh, dear mind of mine, go back outside, into the woods and find your answer.<br />
It is there, in your heart and in those buds.<br />
<br />
You know it is. <br />You just need to believe...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-56893628837155366822013-02-19T12:06:00.000-08:002013-02-19T12:06:13.384-08:00And it feels damn good!<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0R7rneqwnXbgnEcBr5-ONcd4rySINLuEZBi3mlv2OXYIBTCCbJc2-cRttBjyMiNu6P9iz7yxffV4ZToluJM1PvGg_Go7_kHDb6HOEhlYaFafXDxD-r9jTn8cNxfJntqRV0_ZmCHA6yhE5/s1600/2013-02-16+16.19.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0R7rneqwnXbgnEcBr5-ONcd4rySINLuEZBi3mlv2OXYIBTCCbJc2-cRttBjyMiNu6P9iz7yxffV4ZToluJM1PvGg_Go7_kHDb6HOEhlYaFafXDxD-r9jTn8cNxfJntqRV0_ZmCHA6yhE5/s320/2013-02-16+16.19.17.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kaya & Gabriel, in front of the Ronald McDonald House in Seattle</td></tr>
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As I was running through the beautiful Tryon Creek State Park this morning, sun shining through the trees with a magical glow on the moss-lined trunks, it hit me (as I ran past the mama with her toddler in the owl hat!) that our once-baby is now a kid. I think it became official yesterday when she used the word "totally" for the first time ever--something about little ones using such slang makes them seem <i>so </i>much older. Geoff had just gotten home from work and she was incredibly excited to show him her tricks on the pull-up bar. No, no, don't worry...I'm not about to tell you that she can "totally do a pull-up" (though that would be <i>totally </i>epic)...but the scene was nearly as impressive with the amount of energy she was emanating and the words that were falling from her lips. "I can todawy weach it, Dada!" she shouted, excitedly, realizing she no longer needs a stool. I couldn't help but smile. My kid just said "totawy", and she's barely 4. (It made her seem even older when she started calling him "Dad" later that night, asking him, "Are you gonna stay in bed all night, Dad? Get up and play with me!")<br />
<br />
There have been a number of moments over the past month, in fact, that have had me sitting back in smiles--and I finally made the efforts to record them on my phone so they'd be ready for this moment, right now, when I'm finally ready to share them with you, my wonderful little blogging community.<br />
<br />
About 3 weeks ago, as we were driving in the car on the way to Geoff's office, she asked me, out the blue, "Werde ich immer Deutsch sprechen?" [<i>Will I always speak German?</i>] I couldn't believe she was thinking in such a manner, wondering so philosophically whether, in her future, she'd always speak this non-community language. Granted, it's possible that she wonders the same thing about English, but somehow, I doubt that: she's very clear at this point, that German is somewhat of an anomaly for her, for us, in our many communities of English speakers.<br />
For me, the even-better part of our conversation came after my simple response to her. I let her know that I hoped she would, and then asked her, despite my slight fear of hearing the opposite, whether she wanted to always speak German in her life. Her response, in part just the tone of it, left me reeling in smiles. "Ja!"<br />
<br />
Kaya is also showing a decent amount of curiosity around German grammar, too. Granted, it may not be sourced from that part of her brain, but as a language teacher, it makes me quite happy to hear her wonder about the difference between 'du' and 'dich' and why we use one over the other. This happened at the table, as we were eating lunch, on the same day that she expressed her excitement about always speaking German. Though the exact context escapes me, at one point she said, "Ich und dich," [<i>I and you (</i>the object pronoun instead of the subject pronoun)], to which I responded, inquisitively, "Ich und du?" This clearly triggered her curiosity (much preferred to her frustration, which has happened at times, too), as she then asked me, "Warum sagen wir du und nicht dich?" [<i>Why do we say 'you' </i>(subject pronoun) <i>and not you (</i>object pronoun)?]<br />
<br />
On a similar grammar note, I have to share how impressed I was that, at times, she <i>is</i> using the proper case for her pronouns (one of the biggest challenges in German is knowing which case to use when, not to mention which pronouns belong to which case). Granted, this isn't a memorization, I realize, nor really a learning thing...it's mostly just a matter of her <i>knowing</i> from the inside out, which is right, because it sounds right. So, in some ways, this triumph is a little skip-hop celebration that my grammar has been proper enough for her to hear me and learn. We were leaving our friends' house after a play date, talking about how much fun we had had playing with Marek and Heather. "Du hast nicht gepielt," [<i>You didn't play,</i>] she made sure to point out. "Du hast gesprochen." [<i>You talked.</i>] She paused momentarily, and then continued to point out her observation. "Du hast zu Marek und mir gesprochen." [<i>You talked to Marek and me.</i>] As I type this, I can actually almost hear my sister squeal, for this error is one that she loves to correct in English, especially of me, because I've made it plenty. It's so tempting to use 'I' in that context, "you talked to Marek and I", when in fact, 'I' is the object of the preposition, so it needs to be in the dative case: me. And in German: mir. I'm sure that my sister, and even my Dad, will be so happy to hear that Kaya's German is accurate enough (in this case!) to hold her own.<br />
<br />
Kaya is becoming more exact in her general usage of German, as well. She's asking more often how to say particular words as opposed to just throwing in an English substitute--a huge difference over our<a href="http://nonnativebilingualism.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-secrets-out.html" target="_blank"> Christmas time spike in code-switching</a>. This morning at breakfast, for example, she asked me, "Heisst 'waste' verschwenden?" [<i>Does 'waste' mean 'verschwenden'?</i>] We had just had a conversation about not wasting food, about the importance of putting in your bowl just the amount that you think you can eat, so as not to waste it. About 5 minutes later, she came up with that question. And on the same day as our play date with Marek, she corrected me on my usage of 'bunnies' over 'Hasen'. Referring to the snack that she got to eat at his house, I asked her if she liked the "Chocolate Chip Bunnies", to which she immediately said, "ja" and after a few minutes, let me know quite matter of fact that it's "chocolate chip Hasen, nicht Chocolate Chip Bunnies, Mama. Sie heissen Hasen auf Deutsch." [<i>Chocolate chip Hasen, not Chocolate Chip Bunnies, Mama. They are called Hasen in German.</i>] Later that day, she began to wonder about the other kind of Bunnies, asking me, "Was heisst 'Cheddow' auf Deutsch?" [<i>What's cheddar called in German?</i>] I told her that cheddar is a type of cheese, but that I don't know exactly what it's called in German, to which she clearly let me know that, "Du musst Cheddar Hasen sagen, Mama, nicht Cheddar Bunnies." <i>[You have to say Cheddar Hasen, mama, not Cheddar Bunnies.</i>]<br />
<br />
And to wrap up our story telling for the day, I'll share this last little anecdote that speaks further to Kaya's recent passion and curiosity surrounding the nuance and accuracy of language usage. We were, once again, in the car (maybe it's time to start taking the bus more!!?), after a late night sleepover with her cousin, Arletta. Kaya sneezed, to which I automatically said, "Bless you!" I knew it was Kaya, and I must have been deep in my own thoughts, for I normally would have said, "Gesundheit". Kaya caught my slip, of course, and with a big smile on her face, announced, "Das war mich, Mama!...Du hast das in English gesagt." [<i>That was me </i>(object pronoun instead of subject pronoun), <i>mama!...You said that in English." </i><br />
<br />
<br />
Reflecting on all this positivity, all this excitement and passion in our recent past, has me quite happy, I have to say. Despite the various errors we both tend to make; the struggles in those moments where I'd much rather just yell or go off in English when I think I might lose it; or those words that i hate saying because I can hear the brutal american 'r' of my non-native accent...we've done it. No matter what happens from here, no matter how many more mountains we summit and valleys we fall into it, we made it through some major resistance, to the point that, this is OUR language. This is her mother tongue, the is the language in which she connects with her mama--and me with her--and mistakes and struggles aside, we're doing it.<br />
<br />
And it feels damn good!<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05895245202923024753noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6454634329009534853.post-47264972935175342932013-02-07T00:34:00.000-08:002013-02-07T00:34:22.121-08:00Four, and Still Fluent...(whoohooooo!)<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECbbs8VkY763r7wHQ4MphzG7khWX4zQfAs8q_n2gWC-jVZpuDgDBZ-8qK-f5ZuhdNnK3V2QO9QOoZfMwQJNfBFvTC9P23qOZeVtircNyfqrg4BVIvYCQadCYV2qYspEHDiP_uzH-5eV2S/s1600/in+the+firewagon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgECbbs8VkY763r7wHQ4MphzG7khWX4zQfAs8q_n2gWC-jVZpuDgDBZ-8qK-f5ZuhdNnK3V2QO9QOoZfMwQJNfBFvTC9P23qOZeVtircNyfqrg4BVIvYCQadCYV2qYspEHDiP_uzH-5eV2S/s320/in+the+firewagon.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kaya hitching a ride at her 4th Birthday Party, Jan.22</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I'm writing this post merely to break my streak of silence. For about a week, about 3 weeks ago, I was on fire with topics to address, most of them having everything to do with the amazing sentences flowing out of Kaya's mouth. And for some reason, I'm not exactly sure why, I didn't take the time to sit down a share them. And now, when I'm feeling inspired to write again (mostly because I just looked at the page-views of my site and can't beLIEVE how many visitors I had last month--738!!), I can think not only of none of those topics (how's that for a double negative?!), but can't even recall the specifics of her cute Kaya-ism that she shared this morning on our way to school. Something along the lines of, "Gampa kann 'nein' sagen in Deutsch!...und Gams kann 'Auto Essen' sagen...!" [<i>Grampa can say 'nein' (no) in German, and Gramms can say, "Car Food"</i>.] All of this said with this HUGE grin on her face, and this cute, high tone in her voice, like one of silly disbelief and simultaneous matter-of-fact. And I'm getting this visual of her arms out, palms up, twisting wrist, as she tends to do when she's sharing something with us that is very interesting to her. So cute, I gotta get it on video.<br />
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj47OQK7qkZI9cmK1lgHaoz0dcsjaYmQLJgZxBSJMsEIJzkUrA7WyA6_XOfKZTn42mknVhhGZ21Eu6eYLP_ytX91zz5YfrbcRoCPpMkF_q4I-rSJu8HgnBdE_qlTliumtXvY3ttDiryPoo8/s1600/birthday+candles.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj47OQK7qkZI9cmK1lgHaoz0dcsjaYmQLJgZxBSJMsEIJzkUrA7WyA6_XOfKZTn42mknVhhGZ21Eu6eYLP_ytX91zz5YfrbcRoCPpMkF_q4I-rSJu8HgnBdE_qlTliumtXvY3ttDiryPoo8/s320/birthday+candles.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alternative Cakeless Candle Ceremony...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And to these few details I'll add: I love 4. I've always loved the even-ness of the number, the cool shape of the numeral, even the sound of the word, but what I didn't know in my past is how much I'd would truly enjoy the snuggle time, the love that she has for mama, the giggles, the endless curiosity ("Warum haben manche Maenner Haare?" [<i>Why do some men have hair?</i>]--<i>our Geoff is bald</i>), and her amazing ability and tendency to switch back and forth between her two languages, as if that's just the way life is (because it is). With four comes a massive decrease in tantrums, at least in intensity and length, and this wondrous ability to reason. It's really so very wonderful. It's crazy how we saw this huge shift right about the time of her birthday (Jan.22). One would think these phases would happen gradually, and surely for some they do, but our experience has been one of "all of a sudden"s--wham. bam. different kid. <br />
<br />
As a snapshot, she continues to love her school experience, an <a href="http://www.motherearthschool.com/index.shtml" target="_blank">outdoor immersion forest farm preschool</a>, and will now run through the forest after school as opposed to kerplunking herself at my feet, crying. Her favorite day continues to be "Millet Tag" [<i>Millet Day</i>], as she loves to go to Gramms and Grampas to spend the night on Wednesdays (she'll often tell me on Wed. mornings, "Ich werde dich vermissen, wenn ich bei Gamms un Gampa bin. Aber ich habe sie auch lieb." [<i>I'll miss you when I am at Gramms and Grampa's. But I love them, too. </i>] She is now willingly speaking German with Estella again (her 16 year old host sister from Germany), and shows no signs of resistance (speaking German) with me. At times, she'll throw in an English word when she can't think of the German--like the other day, after school, as she was attempting to explain the process of candle making and didn't have the words for 'wax', 'holes', or 'leaves' (it seemed more like a context thing, however, because she does know the word for leaves, and holes, actually). <br />
<br />
My eyes are getting dry. It's late enough to end this. <br />
So, my dear friends all over the world--I noticed 3 of you from Egypt
this week!!, not to mention, all of you readers in Mexico (15), Germany
(9), China(8), Sweden (7), Russia (5), Taiwan (5), Spain (4), and Poland
(4), and 32 more from our lil' old US of A. Thank you, everyone. I do
love this community, and am happy to have 'broken the spell'.<br />
<br />
Sleep well!<br />
Schlaft gut!<br />
Que duermen bien!<br />
<br />
~Tamara<br />
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